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. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
. Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?
. Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
. Do I LOOK like a people person?
. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
. You! Off my planet!
. Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.
. Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.
. Bottomless pit of needs & wants.
. I like cats, too. Let's exchange recipes.
. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
. Let me show you how the guards used to do it.
. And just how may I MESS you over today?
. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
. I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for years.
. If only you'd use your powers for good instead of evil...
. See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
. A PBS mind in an MTV world.
. Allow me to introduce my selves.
. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
. Whisper my favorite words: "I'll buy it for you."
. Better living through denial.
. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
. Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
. Adult child of alien invaders.
. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
. I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.
. Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
. After I cook the vegetables, what do I do with the wheelchairs?
. Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?
. Back off! You're standing in my aura.
. I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
. Don't worry. I forgot your name, too!
. Adults are just kids who owe money.
. One of us is thinking about sex... OK, it's me.
. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
. It's sick the way you people keep having sex without me.
. I work hours a week to be this poor.
. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #?
. Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.
. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
. Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done.
. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
. You look like hell. Is that the style now?
. Everyone thinks I'm psychotic, except for my friends deep inside the earth.
. Earth is full. Go home.
. Is it time for your medication or mine?
. Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me?
. I plead contemporary insanity.
. And which dwarf are you?
. I refuse to star in your psychodrama.
. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
. It ain't the size, it's... no, it's the size.
. Meandering to a different drummer.
. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
. I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go?
