Puns, Jokes, and One-Liners

Leather armor is the best for sneaking around because it’s literally made of hide.

   (And HEAVY armor is easy to take because it’s literally made of steel)

       (I don’t know about you guys, but my opinion has been suede)

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I just got back from a friend's funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service.

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I was at a funeral the other day and a couple in front of me were loudly arguing about which herb goes best with which fish. I could only think it isn't the Thyme or Plaice.

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I tried forming a gang once, but it turned into a book club.

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Spilling a full drink you just paid for is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon

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All labels become extremely interesting when you go to the bathroom without your phone

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How Long is a Chinese name.

…It’s not a question…

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Cow turns into Beef.

Deer becomes Venison.

Pig transforms to Pork.

Chicken… stays Chicken.

Way to not even try.

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Mercury has a harsh climate, as the daytime temperature is 430 degrees Celsius. At night, however, it freezes to -170 degrees Celsius.

First world problems.

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So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.