Monday, February 29, 2016
Monday Mind Game
IQ Quiz
1. Why can't a man living in the USA be buried in Canada?
2. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister? Why?
3. A man builds a house rectangular in shape. All the sides have southern exposure. A big bear walks by. What color is the bear? Why?
4. If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?
5. How far can a dog run into the woods?
6. One big hockey fan claimed to be able to tell the score before any game. How did he do it?
7. You can start a fire if you have alcohol, petrol, kerosene, paper, candle, coke, a full matchbox and a piece of cotton wool. What is the first thing you light?
8. Why do Chinese men eat more rice than Japanese men do?
9. What word describes a woman who does not have all her fingers on one hand?
10. Why can’t you take a picture of a pregnant woman with a cat in Kenosha, Wisconsin?
Give up?
Drag your cursor between the asterisks for the answer
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1. Why should a living man be buried?
2. No, it is not legal to get married if you are dead.
3. The bear is white since the house is built on the North Pole.
4. If you take 2 apples, then you have of course 2.
5. The dog can run into the woods only to the half of the wood - than it would run out of
the woods.
6. The score before any hockey game should be 0:0, shouldn't it?
7. A match, of course.
8. There are more Chinese men than Japanese men.
9. Normal - I wouldn't be very happy if I had all my fingers (10) on one hand.
10. Because a cat isn’t a camera and it can’t take pictures.
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Sunday, February 28, 2016
Saturday, February 27, 2016
Friday, February 26, 2016
One day, on the freeway...
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down freeway, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a State Trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Many years ago, my wife ran off with a State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the Trooper.
Now HERE'S a candidate!
"When the wildlings come across the wall, they're bringing drugs. They're bringing crime. They're rapists. And some, I assume, are good people"
Thursday, February 25, 2016
Speeding ticket test
A man is driving down the highway going 90 mph when he is pulled over by a cop. The cop walks up to the car and talks to the man.
Cop: Do you know I clocked you going 90 mph, I'm going to have to give you a ticket.
Man: Please officer, I'm on my way to the city. My son is in the hospital and I need to be with him.
Cop: I'm sorry but I need to give you a ticket.
Man: Sir, I've never had a ticket in over 40 years of driving. Can you please let me go?
Cop: How about this, I ask you a question. If you get it right you get no ticket, but if you're wrong you get a ticket. Fair?
Man: Sounds fair.
Cop: You're driving down the highway at night, and in the other lane you see 2 square lights coming toward you. What is it?
Man: Well it's a car!
Cop: That's not specific enough, it could be a Honda, a Chevy or a Ford.
Man: Well that's just not fair...
Cop: Well how about this one? You're driving down the highway and you see a singular light coming toward you. What is it?
Man: Well its obviously a motorcycle.
Cop: That's not specific enough, it could be a Harley Davidson, could be a Honda, or a Kawasaki
Man: Sir these questions just aren't fair!
Cop: Oh well, looks like you're getting a ticket!
Man: How about this, I ask you a question. If you get it right you give me a ticket, if you're wrong I don't get a ticket. Fair?
Cop: Go ahead.
Man: You're driving down the street when all of a sudden you see this woman dressed very scantily, with her cleavage showing, a lot of makeup, a little purse and every man that walks by her she hits on. What is that?
Cop: Well she's obviously a whore!
Man: Well that's not specific enough! She could be your wife, your mother, your daughter, or your sister!