Sunday, March 13, 2016

Some Trump Humor

What is Donald Trump telling Barack Obama supporters? 
Orange Is The New Black. 

What's the only thing that can stop Donald Trump? 
A Cruz missile. 

What does Melania see in Donald Trump? 
"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!" 

Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants? 
Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades! 

Trump: "It's not a toupee, I just found the Bush that Jeb lost." 

How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs? 
By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events. 

Fear is the Path to the dark side. Fear leads to Anger, Anger leads to Hate, and Hate leads to the Republican Nomination. 

How do you know the economy is only getting worse? 
On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself! 

Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania? 
Because all his other wives support Hilary. 

Trump: "Foreign Policy?, if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee." 

Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady? 
Because she would have to move into a smaller house. 

How is Donald Trump going to shut down Planned Parenthood? 
By turning it into one of his casinos. 

What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma if he is elected president? 
Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head! 

What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals? 
He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed. 

Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants? 
Because E.T. eventually went home! 

Donald Trump doesn't believe in gay marriage, he believes marriage is about a rich guy marrying a much younger model. 

Donald Trump Campaign Slogans 
   "We Shall OverComb" 
   "No Amigos" 
   "Comb Over To The Dark Side" 
   "Don't Be A Chump, Vote For Trump" 
   "Stump For Trump" 
   "Democrats, You're Fired!" 
   "This country needs the D" 

Donald Trumps Wake 
When Donald Trump died, an elaborate wake was planned. In preparation, Mrs. Trump called the undertaker aside for a private little talk. "Please be sure to secure his toupee to his head very securely. No one but I knew he was bald," she confided, "and he'd never rest in peace if anyone found out at this point. Our friends from the old country are sure to hold his hands and touch his head before they're through paying their last respects." "Rest assured, Mrs. Trump," comforted the undertaker. "I'll fix it so that toupee will never come off." Sure enough, the day of the wake the old timers were giving Donald's ancient corpse quite a going over, but the toupee stayed firmly in place. At the end of the day, a delighted Mrs. Trump offered the undertaker an extra thousand dollars for handling the matter so professionally. "Oh, I couldn't possibly accept your money," protested the undertaker. "What's a few nails?" 


More here

(Thanks, Gay! MKAP!)

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