Random Status Updates

I’m betting nobody EVER called Steve Miller a “gangster of love.”

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The contest entry said, “Void where prohibited.” Now I don’t know about you, but I can think of a LOT less messy acts of civil disobedience.

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Here’s something… apparently, Ukraine has announced plans to open Chernobyl, their nuclear disaster site, to tourists. They say it’ll be just like Disneyland, except the 6-foot mouse is real.

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When I was a kid growing up in Seattle, we had seven dogs.

That might not sound like a lot, but it’s 49 in dog dogs.

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How do you start a racist joke?

With a small million-dollar loan from his father.

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A piece of beef jerky is essentially a cow raisin

And Dr. Pepper is a Fizz-ician.

I’ll show myself out.

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Here’s something depressing: The next “60’s” are closer than the last “60’s.”

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I was on a plane last Sunday, so I tried to DVR the championship football game, but I must’ve got the wrong channel, because when I played it back later, both teams weren’t wearing any pants, and there were toilets and toilet paper everywhere. Then I discovered that I had recorded the Super Bowel Game, which, incidentally, was strangely compelling to watch. You don’t even want to know what one player did to receive the backfield-in-motion penalty.

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I just donated $10 to Bernie Sanders’ campaign.

Don’t worry though, I also donated $7.80 to Hillary.

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My great-great grandfather was a pirate. A fairly successful one, by all accounts. Which is probably why my great-grandfather decided to follow in his footstep.