Curse-Free Insults

I don't care what people say about you. You're alright.

I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain it to you.

I'm not saying you're fat, but it looks like you were poured into your clothes and forgot to say "when".

I can explain it to you but I can't understand it for you.

Your family tree must be a circle.

You couldn't pour the water out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.

You're not pretty enough to be this stupid.

Everyone who's ever loved you was wrong

Somewhere out there a tree is working very hard to replace the oxygen you consume. Now go apologize to it.

You do realize that people just tolerate you?

Do you get invited to many parties?

I've been called worse things by better people.

Well, I would agree with you but then we'd both be wrong.

This is why people talk about you when you're not around.

(via)