Puns, Jokes, and One-Liners

What do they call Miley Cyrus in France?

Kilometry Cyrus

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I like my women like I like my drinks

Whatever’s available

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I love nature, as long as it's not munching on me.

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Apparently, from what I hear, it's GOOD to be a man from Nantucket.

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Two midgets are sitting around, bored, when one of them pulls out some weed and says, “Wanna get medium?”

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I’m starting to think that this is the last season of America, and the writers are just going nuts.

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God made three mistakes:

     1. Mustard

     2. Pickles, and

     3. Anything else I don’t like.

The other day I was talking with a friend about how I love cucumbers, but I hate pickles. She said, “Yeah, I know what you mean. I love beer, but I hate yeast infections.”

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How do miniature Japanese dogs say hello?

Konnichihuahua.

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I tried searching Google for “Lost Medieval Servant Boy.” It told me “This Page Cannot Be Found.”

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The best thing about the 140-character limit on Twitter is that it keeps profanity-prone me from accidentally inserting unnecessary motherfu