The Centipede

A man buys a centipede from a pet store. He takes it home and sets it up in its aquarium, and lets it get settled in for a while. After a few hours the guy gets bored and goes up to the centipede and asks, "hey, centipede, you wanna go out and get a drink, check out the ladies? You know, just hang out?" But the centipede doesn't say anything. The guy thinks, "Hmmm, it must be getting used to its new environment or whatever," and he goes to bed.

The next day after work, the guy's watching TV and he gets bored, so he goes up to the centipede again and taps on the aquarium glass, and says "Hey, centipede, you wanna go out, get a drink, maybe check out the ladies? Just hang out or whatever?" and the centipede doesn't say anything. The guys thinks, "That's weird, I wonder if it's sick or something. I’m not sure how centipedes are supposed to act, I guess." He shrugs it off and goes to bed.

The third day, after work, the guy gets bored watching TV and goes to the centipede again, this time getting a little exasperated. "HEY! CENTIPEDE! Do you wanna go out and get a DRINK, check out the LADIES or something?" and the centipede yells back, "I heard you the first time, man! I'm getting my shoes on!"