Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris once threw a grenade that killed 20 people. Then it exploded.

Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse. It's descendants are now known as the giraffe

Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Chuck Norris can kill 2 stones with 1 bird.

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep...he waits.

When Chuck Norris jumps into the ocean, he doesn't get wet - the ocean gets Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not do push-ups, he pushes the earth down.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Chuck Norris has never cried.

Chuck Norris once went to The Virgin Islands. Now they're just The Islands.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris stared at the sun. And the sun went blind.

Before he goes to sleep each night, the boogeyman checks his closet and under his bed for Chuck Norris.

Someone once asked Chuck Norris how many push ups he can do. He simply replied "All of them."

There are no Chuck Norris jokes. Only facts

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. And got one.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris CAN touch this.

Chuck Norris doesn't pay taxes; taxes pay Chuck Norris.

Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.

Chuck Norris always donates blood to the Red Cross. Just not his own.