Random Status Updates

So I was just thinking... remember when that Iraqi journalist threw his shoes at President Bush? If anyone ever does something like that to Trump, the Secret Service will be able to yell, "Donald, duck!"

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If I had a penny for every Trump joke going around right now, I’d have a small loan of a million dollars.

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Some people say their body is a temple.

Mine is a bouncy castle.

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I got an email yesterday regarding seasonal jobs as a "package handler." I had to check to make sure it was for UPS and not the TSA.

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Something to remember:

No matter how kind you are,

German children are kinder.

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It’s never too late to follow your dreams. Unless your dream is to be a child actor, in which case, yes, it absolutely is too late.

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When one door closes, another opens.

When one door closes, another opens.

When one door closes, another opens.

-       Me, eating through a chocolate advent calendar

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I saw a sign today that said “Falling Rocks”.

So I tried it, and it doesn’t.

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I'm trying my best to get into the Christmas spirit, but the damn bottle just... won't... open...

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I have a certain affinity for the Nativity story. As it just so happens to turn out, I, too, have woken up in a pile of barn hay surrounded by sheep.

Merry Christmas, everybody