Saturday, March 17, 2018

In honor of the day...

A sobbing Ms Murphy approaches Father O’Grady after Mass.

He says: “So what’s bothering you?”

She replies: “Oh, Father, I’ve terrible news. My husband passed away last night.”

The priest says: “Oh, Mary, that’s terrible. Tell me, girl - did he have any last requests?”

"Aye, Father," she replied. “He said, “Please Mary, put down that damn gun.”

~~~~~

An Irish priest is driving along a country road when a police man pulls him over. He immediately smells alcohol on the priest's breath and notices an empty wine bottle in the car.

He says: "Have you been drinking?"

"Just water," says the priest.

The cop replies: "Then why do I smell wine?"

The priest looks at the bottle and says: "Good Lord! He's done it again!"

~~~~~

An Irishman is struggling to find a parking space.

"Lord," he prayed. "I can't stand this. If you open a space up for me, I swear I'll give up the Guinness and go to mass every Sunday."

Suddenly, the clouds part and the sun shines on an empty parking spot. Without hesitation, the Irishman says: "Never mind, I found one!"

~~~~~

Billy stops Paddy in Dublin and asks for the quickest way to Cork.

Paddy says: "Are you on foot or in the car?"

Billy replies: "In the car." 

"Well that's the quickest way," says Paddy

~~~~~

Q: What do you call an Irish fella trying to break up a fight? A: Liam Malone 


No comments:

Post a Comment