Thursday, May 31, 2018
One day, on the train...
Three lawyers are buying tickets for a train to Chicago. Ahead of them in line, three engineers purchase a single ticket.
One of the lawyers asks, "How are you going to travel with just a ticket between the three of you?"
"Watch and you'll see," winks one of the engineers.
The train arrives, and the six of them climb on. The three lawyers take their seats while the three engineers pile into a bathroom.
The train gets underway.
A conductor starts making his rounds. Noticing the bathroom is occupied, he knocks on the door and asks, "Ticket, please."
The door cracks open a hair, and a single ticket is offered. The conductor punches it, and continues on.
The three lawyers admit that this is a good trick, and that they should try it on their next journey. As luck would have it, after spending a few days in Chicago, they see that the three engineers will be on board their train. The lawyers purchase a single ticket for the three of them, while the engineers don't buy a ticket at all.
One of the lawyers asks, "How are you going to ride, if you don't have a ticket?"
"Watch and you'll see," came the reply.
The lawyers get on the train, and scramble into a bathroom. The engineers cram themselves into an adjacent bathroom. The train leaves, and picks up speed. One of the engineers gets out of the bathroom, walks over to the lawyers' bathroom, and knocks.
"Ticket, please."
Wednesday, May 30, 2018
Website Wednesday 18.22
Website
Wednesday
a subsidiary of Skip's House of Chaos
(The 234,453rd Most Interesting Man in the World)
"From the Large Intestine of the Internets,
through the Sphincter of Electronic Mail,
peeing like a baby on a changing table
into the brisk digital wind..."
a subsidiary of Skip's House of Chaos
(The 234,453rd Most Interesting Man in the World)
"From the Large Intestine of the Internets,
through the Sphincter of Electronic Mail,
peeing like a baby on a changing table
into the brisk digital wind..."
Adulthood is completely understandingwhy Britney Spears shaved her head
Top of the heap: There is Only One Trump Scandal
31 Things You May Have Been Doing Wrong Your Entire Life
14 Secrets of Costco Employees
Napflix: Videos that will put you to sleep
Instant Pot Recipes Everyone Should Know
United States of Protest: A Citizen's Guide to 250 Years of Resistance
Deadpool 2 post-credits scene(s), explained (warning: spoilers)
The Next Big Discovery in Astronomy Has Already Been Found (We Just Don't Know It Yet)
Only a True Trivia Expert Will Get 15/20 On This Quiz (I got 13)
A truly genius parenting hack
The X-Men Movies You Never Saw
Inside an Amazon Fulfillment Center
Photography is Just One Big Lie
Having Babies on Mars is Going to Be a 'Titanic Challenge'
Why You Should Be Drinking Water
24 Things Princesses at Disneyland Would Never Tell You
Has Facebook Jumped the Shark?
The Rise of the Religious Left (yeah, count me in)
27 Ways to Clean All The Things You Don't Really Know How to Clean
Love you, mean it. Let's do lunch.
Have your
people call my
people. Ciao,
bella.
- Skip
ಠ_à²
Website Wednesday archives
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Tuesday, May 29, 2018
Fifty Shades of Grey
#272727, #282828, #292929, #2b2b2b, #2c2c2c, #2e2e2e, #313131, #323232, #343434, #353535, #373737, #393939, #3a3a3a, #3c3c3c, #3f3f3f, #404040, #424242, #444444, #454545, #474747, #484848, #4a4a4a, #4b4b4b, #4d4d4d, #4e4e4e, #505050, #515151, #535353, #565656, #575757, #585858, #595959, #5b5b5b, #5c5c5c, #5e5e5e, #616161, #626262, #646464, #656565, #676767, #6a6a6a, #6b6b6b, #6c6c6c, #6d6d6d, #6f6f6f, #727272, #737373, #757575, #767676, #777777, #7b7b7b, #7c7c7c, 7d7d7d, #7e7e7e, #808080, #818181, 838383, #868686, #878787, #888888, 898989, #8b8b8b, #8c8c8c, #8e8e8e, 919191, #929292, #949494, #959595, 979797, #9a9a9a, #9b9b9b, #9c9c9c, 9d9d9d, #9f9f9f, #a0a0a0, #a2a2a2, a5a5a5, #a6a6a6, #a8a8a8.
Maybe it's just me, but I can't figure out why this is supposed to be so sexy...
TUNESMITH TUESDAY - Classic TV Show Theme Songs - "Rawhide"
Rawhide was an American Western TV series starring Eric Fleming and Clint Eastwood. The show aired on the CBS network from January 9, 1959 to January 4, 1966, with a total of 217 black-and-white episodes.
Spanning seven and a half years, Rawhide was the sixth-longest-running American television Western, exceeded only by eight years of Wagon Train, nine years of The Virginian, fourteen years of Bonanza, eighteen years of Death Valley Days, and twenty years of Gunsmoke.
Spanning seven and a half years, Rawhide was the sixth-longest-running American television Western, exceeded only by eight years of Wagon Train, nine years of The Virginian, fourteen years of Bonanza, eighteen years of Death Valley Days, and twenty years of Gunsmoke.
In this week's "Yeah-That's-Sort-Of-Interesting" department...
The Amount of Water on Europa
So, scuba diving?
Monday, May 28, 2018
MONDAY MIND GAME
Identify the last number:
1 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 9 - 11 - ?
Give up?
Drag your cursor between the asterisks for the answer
*
The answer is 100
It's the series of numbers that do not contain the letter "T"
*
Sunday, May 27, 2018
Random Status Updates
Me: Hey! What do you call a midget fortune-teller who just escaped from prison?
Starbucks Barista: Ummm, I don’t know, what?
Me: A Tall Grande at Venti!
I’m not allowed in that Starbucks anymore.
~~~~~
If I had to guess where it everything started to go wrong, I’d have to say it was the day I learned “elementopee” wasn’t one awesome letter.
~~~~~
SKETCH ARTIST: (holds up a drawing of a single bit of straw)
CAMEL: (in a wheelchair, tears in his eyes) That’s him!
~~~~~
Sometimes I feel like a seal is just a neutral sea lion.
Neutral.
As in …
without an ion
~~~~~
Statistics show that 69% of people find something dirty in everything they read
~~~~~
I haven’t eaten an apple in days.
The doctors are closing in.
My barricade won’t last much longer.
They’re coming.
Tell my family I love th-
~~~~~
When you think about it, Hotel California is basically a negative Yelp review with a two-minute guitar solo
~~~~~
I never run with scissors.
Those last two words were unnecessary.
~~~~~
You matter.
Unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light…
Then you energy.
~~~~~
We take it for granted today, but a single Dorito has more extreme nacho flavor than a peasant in the 1400’s would get in his entire lifetime.
Starbucks Barista: Ummm, I don’t know, what?
Me: A Tall Grande at Venti!
I’m not allowed in that Starbucks anymore.
~~~~~
If I had to guess where it everything started to go wrong, I’d have to say it was the day I learned “elementopee” wasn’t one awesome letter.
~~~~~
SKETCH ARTIST: (holds up a drawing of a single bit of straw)
CAMEL: (in a wheelchair, tears in his eyes) That’s him!
~~~~~
Sometimes I feel like a seal is just a neutral sea lion.
Neutral.
As in …
without an ion
~~~~~
Statistics show that 69% of people find something dirty in everything they read
~~~~~
I haven’t eaten an apple in days.
The doctors are closing in.
My barricade won’t last much longer.
They’re coming.
Tell my family I love th-
~~~~~
When you think about it, Hotel California is basically a negative Yelp review with a two-minute guitar solo
~~~~~
I never run with scissors.
Those last two words were unnecessary.
~~~~~
You matter.
Unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light…
Then you energy.
~~~~~
We take it for granted today, but a single Dorito has more extreme nacho flavor than a peasant in the 1400’s would get in his entire lifetime.
