(poke the pic with your pointy thing to biggify)
Saturday, June 30, 2018
A discussion between a couple of old bills...
A well-worn one-dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty-dollar bill arrived at a Federal Reserve Bank to be retired. As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burned, they struck up a conversation.
The twenty-dollar bill reminisced about its travels all over the country. "I've had a pretty good life," the twenty proclaimed. "Why I've been to Las Vegas and Atlantic City, the finest restaurants in New York, performances on Broadway, and even a cruise to the Caribbean."
"Wow!" said the one-dollar bill. "You've really had an exciting life!"
"So tell me," says the twenty, "where have you been throughout your lifetime?"
The one-dollar bill replies, "Oh, I've been to the Methodist Church, the Baptist Church, the Presbyterian church, the Lutheran Church..."
The twenty-dollar bill interrupted and asked, "What's a church?"
The twenty-dollar bill reminisced about its travels all over the country. "I've had a pretty good life," the twenty proclaimed. "Why I've been to Las Vegas and Atlantic City, the finest restaurants in New York, performances on Broadway, and even a cruise to the Caribbean."
"Wow!" said the one-dollar bill. "You've really had an exciting life!"
"So tell me," says the twenty, "where have you been throughout your lifetime?"
The one-dollar bill replies, "Oh, I've been to the Methodist Church, the Baptist Church, the Presbyterian church, the Lutheran Church..."
The twenty-dollar bill interrupted and asked, "What's a church?"
One Poster, 171 Stephen King References
If you want a key to all click here
(Thanks, Miss C)
Friday, June 29, 2018
Thursday, June 28, 2018
Random Thoughts
I don’t live in Missouri, but I have a great
idea for their State Motto which would help promote tourism. Instead of “The
Show Me State,” they should go with “Missouri Loves Company”
~~~~~
Apparently, the best way to flirt with your dental hygienist does
not involve massaging her gloved fingers with your tongue.
~~~~~
The hardest part of having a supermodel for a girlfriend is
telling all the other girls you've been dating that you can't see them anymore.
Luckily, I always wake up before it gets to that point.
~~~~~
I understand now why Habitat for Humanity won’t ever let me come
back, but I honestly thought the saying was "Measure twice, cut one."
~~~~~
Some people just don't seem to care about national security. I
keep trying to tell my neighbor that according to the Patriot Act, you're not
supposed to pull down your window shades down at night, but she doesn't believe
me.
~~~~~
If someone ever invented a low-fat, vitamin-filled vegetable that
tasted like fudge-covered Rice Krispies treats, I'd probably start eating a lot
healthier.
~~~~~
I thought I was a stigmatic until I looked it up.
"Stigmata" means "having bodily marks or pains resembling the
wounds of the crucified Christ." It turns out that when you get a lot of
red bumps on your ass, that's just called a "rash."
~~~~~
Word to the Wise: A barrel full of monkeys isn't fun for very long
if there aren't any air holes.
~~~~~
I'm so old, I remember when an AOL e-mail address was cool.
~~~~~
The beauty of TV Land is being able revisit the programs I revered
during my youth, often relishing the quaintness of what entertained us back
then. That, and shaking my head at the fact we believed that "L" on
Penny Marshall's costumes actually stood for "Laverne."
THROWBACK THURSDAY - "I wonder if this would work for a color blind person...?"
(originally published on October 9, 2012)
Here's another one...
(via)
Do You Get It? (18-2)
1.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8
9.
10.
For the answers, drag your cursor between the asterisks:
*
1. Downright offensive
2. Encourage mint
3. Everything is under control
4. Fish tank
5. Moist owlet
6. Spoiled milk
7. Support bras
8. The clam before the storm
9. Things are getting out of hand
10. World peas
(I know. It's way too early for this shit, isn't it?)
*