Sunday, June 10, 2018

Puns, Jokes, and One-Liners

Doctor: Sir, it looks like your wife was hit by a truck.

Man: Yeah I know, but she has a great personality.

~~~~~

Here’s an idea:
Set your Wi-Fi password to 244446666688888888.
If anybody asks what it is, tell ‘em it’s “12345678.”

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Why does the Norwegian Navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?

So when they come back into port, they can…
.
.
.
.
.
.
Scandinavian.

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North Korea has been parading its new giant rocket.

Man, when they find a giant milk bottle to launch it from, we’re REALLY in trouble.

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The English team visited an orphanage in Brazil today.

“It’s heartbreaking to see their said little faces with no hope,” said José, age 6.

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I think I may have been hacked by Russia.
Edit: I not hacked by Russia. The Motherland do no such thing. Have a good day.

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Enough about sex positions. Has anyone discovered a reading position that doesn’t get uncomfortable after five minutes?

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I heard a joke that someone dreamed they were eating a cloud and woke up missing a pillow. At least I hope it was a joke, because I'm having a hard time locating the cat, and last night I dreamed I was eating Chinese food.

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I'm not sure how much the party guests liked my shadow figures. "Dog," "Rabbit," and "Dog and Rabbit" seemed to go over pretty well, but the room got REAL quiet whenI did "Dog and Rabbit Riding a Large Missile."


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