Sunday, December 2, 2018

Jokes, Puns, and One-Liners


Will glass coffins become a thing?
Remains to be seen.

~~~~~

“I hate being half bicycle/half motorcycle,” he moped.


~~~~~

“Bro, you want this pamphlet?”
“Brochure”

~~~~~

Country Music is basically Farm Emo

~~~~~

I combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it “letter rip.”

~~~~~

Tsunami : T is silent
Honest   : H is silent
Island    : S is silent
Queue   : ueue is silent

~~~~~

There was a young man
From Cork who got limericks
And haikus confused

~~~~~

If you took all your DNA, straightened it out and put it end-to end, it would stretch to Jupiter and back 10X over.

You are neither small nor insignificant. You’re just very well folded.

~~~~~

If an alien came to earth and you told him that there’s a superhero named “Batman” who’s an adrenaline junkie and flies around using gadgets, and there’s also ANOTHER superhero named “Daredevil” who’s blind and uses echolocation to fight, said alien would probably punch you in the crotch.

~~~~~

You say 4-hour car ride. I say 4-hour live concert featuring me

No comments:

Post a Comment