Friday, December 7, 2018

Trump explains why he didn't recite the Apostle's Creed

SKIPNOTE: My good friend and co-worker Marc Jablon penned this for a Facebook post:
Trump:
"Look, it's not like I don't know the Apostle Creed... of course I know it... everyone knows I love Apostle. I love all the Rocky movies... all of them, more than anyone could love ANY movie or any movie franchise. Not every TV franchise, of course. Why would I like it better than MY show... but certainly every MOVIE franchise. Rocky...such a great American, so much love for the working man...running up the steps, ringing the bell, the cracked bell, who puts a bell with a crack in it on display like that...if I did that...?? If MY hotel had a cracked bell like that, nobody wold ever stay there, they'd say, there's a cracked bell, what else is cracked in this place?!?! Rocky...so American...like my administration...so much love...so much love...love Rocky and Apostle...except the one where Apostle dies and Rocky beats the Russian. That one I didn't like so much...not so much...why? I have to ask....why?? Why THAT plot?? President Putin has assured me that's not how they do things over there, anyway, like in that movie with the injections and the electrodes w the wires and the treadmills and the greased up bodies...I don't even think they HAVE treadmills in Russia...or they didn't until Putin came along and installed them, which was long after the Soviet Union went belly-up. Amazing, right? And ya know who was responsible for that?? George Bush...the older one with the two initials...what's that, anyway? I like my Presidents to have one middle initial...so sad that it had to end that way during his reign...so sad...and here we are...20-something years later and where has it gotten us? Nowhere...Obama never liked Rocky, I can tell ya that...never liked him at all. And it's no wonder because I hear in the next Rocky, he fights a guy from Kenya...I'm sure THAT's no accident. Rocky takes down Kenya...with one punch...POW, Kenya...gone. I'd do it if Hollywood wasn't doing it...take it right down, that Kenya. Guy installs treadmills all over the country, these beautiful gorgeous treadmills so their women can stay in shape, these Russian women who just need a treadmill to workout their bodies...he installs treadmills and they tell me I can't be friends with the guy...amazing"

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