Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Bon Appétit!

Tracy Barnes scrimped and saved until he finally had enough to pay for a trans-Atlantic ocean voyage he'd always dreamed of taking.

The ocean liner was amazing, from tennis courts to swimming pools, a full gymnasium - even a casino! And the food! The food was as delicious as it was ubiquitous. The only "formal" meal was dinner, and each guest was assigned a table that would be theirs for the duration of the voyage.

On the first evening, Tracy went into the ship's main dining room and found his table. The only other person occupying the table at the time was a slender gentleman in a nice suit.  As Tracy approached the table, the man stood to greet him, put out his hand and said, "Bon Appétit!"

Of course, Tracy, being a typical American, was not a French speaker, but he deduced that the other man must be introducing himself. So he grabbed the other man's outstretched hand and said clearly, "Tracy."

The next evening, Tracy shows up for dinner, and again sees the French gentleman already at the table. The French guy again stands up, offers his hand, and says, "Bon Appétit!" 

"Man," Tracy thought, "this guy has a short memory!" But, being the polite man his mama taught him to be, took the other man's outstretched hand and again repeated his name, as well.  "Tracy."

The third night, the same thing happened.  "Bon Appétit!"  By now, Tracy was starting to get a little annoyed, but, not wanting to appear rude, again said (with a tinge of exasperation in his voice), "Tracy!"

On the fourth day of the voyage, Tracy was on the Promenade Deck looking out over the vast ocean. Just then, the ship's captain happened to be walking by, and said, "Beautiful view, isn't it?"

"Oh, yes. It's amazing!" Tracy replied.

"And how are you enjoying your trip so far, Mr. Barnes?" the Captain asked.

"Well," Tracy began, "there is one thing...  Would it be possible to change my seating arrangements for dinner?"

The Captain seemed concerned. "Is there something wrong? A problem with one of the other guests, perhaps? We'll certainly do whatever we can."

Tracy responded, "Well, it's nothing earth-shattering. But there's this French guy at my table who keeps introducing himself every... single... evening. I tell him my name, we have dinner, and the next night it's the exact same thing. It's a little irritating."

"Well we can certainly deal with that," the Captain said. "What is the gentleman's name?"

"It's something like, 'Bone Appitee.'"

The Captain chuckled. "Mr. Barnes, the gentleman you're speaking to isn't telling you his name. The phrase 'Bon Appétit!' simply means "Enjoy your meal" in French!

Of course now, Tracy feels like a complete fool. So he decides to get to the dinner table early and greet the French dude in his native tongue.

So that evening he shows up early enough to be the first one at the table.  He sees the French guy approaching, so he stands up, sticks his hand out, and confidently says, "Bon Appétit!"

The French guy immediately grabs his hand and replies,


"TRACY!"



SKIPNOTE: I heard this joke when I was a kid and thought it was laugh-out-loud hysterical. I told it to so many people, so many times, that even to this very day, when some poor, unsuspecting hipster-like person says, "Bon Appétit" to me, my immediate response is always, "TRACY!"

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