Thursday, March 14, 2019

The Old Man, the Prince, and the Fish

Once upon a time, there was a prince of a certain land, who wanted to be a lowly fisherman when he grew up. But try as he could, he couldn't ever catch a single fish. He had tried many methods, including nets, spears, and traps, but all to no avail.

Furthermore, he was looked down upon by the rest of his family. While he should have been heir to the throne, he spent so much time trying to fish and failing that he was unsuited to the position. Furthermore, he had hardly wanted to become king anyway and saw no real need for him to fill the position. Eventually, his family disowned him and he had to live his own life in a small hut.

One day, he met an old man by the lake shore, who was hungry and begging. The prince was down to his last few coins in his purse, but he gave them to the old man anyway. Not entirely out of altruism, mind you. He simply thought the old man would be able to have more use with the money than he would, considering what a failure he was at fishing.

The old man looked up at him and smiled, asking him "I see you have a fishing net. Would you like to learn the secret to fishing?"

The prince, obviously just having given away absolutely everything, had little choice but to agree. So obviously, he did.

The old man told him, "Come closer."

The prince did so.

The old man whispered in his ear, "Beyond the desert to the east is a huge ocean where the water is sweet and bubbling. Many fish swim in it, for there are plenty of nutrients in the water. You will surely get some fish there."

The prince said, "I understand," and started to set off.

The old man called after him, "Wait, you'll need this!" and gave the prince a fishing pole.

"This fishing pole is enchanted. It will draw fish towards it. You'll see."

The prince scrounged up what he could for the journey. He took the last of the bread he had, some water from the lake, and left his hut abandoned.

He started crossing the desert. The blistering heat beat down on him. Halfway through the desert, he noticed someone was following him. He turned towards them and asked if they had brought any water with them.

"Yes, but you haven't kept up your interest payments. Pay me and I'll throw in the water as a free bonus. Otherwise, I guess you won't be needing your left hand."

True to the old man's word, the fishing rod had indeed attracted a loan shark (though the prince didn't realize this at the time). Not wanting to be killed or tortured or whatnot, the prince quickly thought up a plan.

"Yes, it's right here," he said, rummaging through his bag.

He took out the stale bread, which had hardened to a brick, and threw it at the shark, stunning him for a moment.

He turned and fled, running through the desert. His throat was parching, and every step he took against the slippery sands seemed to resist him all the way. Meanwhile, the loan shark was calmly walking towards him.

Somehow, the prince managed to outrun the loan shark. He made it to the edge of the bubbling ocean, as the old man had predicted. There, he saw a boat with some fishing supplies in them. He climbed in and started to figure out how to use the fishing rod.

True to the old man's word, the moment he cast his hook into the bubbling, fizzy waters, strange fish did indeed start biting almost immediately. He ended pulling fish after fish after hefty fish into his boat; so much so that he almost capsized. But in the end, he rowed back to shore and thought that he should set up his home here.

He built a fire, cooked one of the fish, and took a bite out of it.

It was the most delicious thing he had ever tasted.

Several months passed, and the prince was able to live a happy life. Many travelers who passed by enjoyed his fish and paid a high price for it. So much so, that he eventually started up a trading company specializing in the fish. Then people wanted to be employed, so he had to build houses for them too. The prince's company soon turned into a town, into a city, and he had almost supreme authority.

One day, however, the aforementioned loan shark arrived at the new palace. He was shown the way to the prince (who was basically now king but didn't realize it), and said, "Now that you're king, you can pay me all that money you owed! Remember, of course, that the rate was normally 8% per month, but since you're a king, it's 8% per day!"

The prince, realizing what had happened, fell to his knees and cried:


"Is this the reel life? Is this just Fanta Sea? Caught in sand, lied; no escape from regality"

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