The Top 20 Things NO WOMAN Should Wear After 30

The Top 20 Things NO WOMAN Should Wear After 30

  1. Untested jetpack

  2. Meat tunic in feral dog country

  3. Twigs superglued to body in shape of dress

  4. High heels if you’re getting chased in a horror movie

  5. Deer costume in the woods during hunting season

  6. Shirt made of wasps

  7. Full suit of armor in the pool

  8. Fake bomb vest at airport

  9. Necklace made out of human ears

10. A sampler of endangered animal skins

11. Cursed amulets

12. Mohair sweater that is currently on fire

13. Police uniform that you stole from a police officer

14. The One Ring

15. Anything covered in chum

16. Fur accessories such as live pet hyenas

17. Glitter eye shadow that contains botfly pheromones

18. Loafers that are actually just dead seagulls you jammed your feet into

19. Leaky backpack full of Cream of Mushroom soup

20. Booty shorts with military secrets written on the butt


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