Biblical Mystery Solved!

Scholars Now Believe Saul Threw Spear At David For Playing Christmas Music Well Before Thanksgiving

WORLD—Scholars all over the world now believe that King Saul actually threw a spear at David after the young musician insisted on playing Christmas music well before Thanksgiving.

It was early November, just after Halloween and still a couple weeks before Thanksgiving, and David played Christmas music, even though it wasn't really even close to December yet.

"If you play 'Little Drummer Boy' one more time, I'm going to pin you to the wall," King Saul reportedly growled. "I double-dog dare you."

David continued happily playing Christmas song after Christmas song, from "The Christmas Shoes" to "Here Comes Santa Claus." The last straw came when David started in on "Last Christmas," and Saul went into a blinding rage. He grabbed a spear and hurled it at David.

"NO MORE MR. NICE SAUL!" Saul screamed as he hurled the ranged weapon at David's face. "Make it stop!"

But David was too fast, blocking the attack with his music stand before escaping through a ventilation duct.

(via)