Saturday, November 23, 2019

Random Status Updates

Okay, quick question: is the phrase “going to Chipotle with Aristotle” funnier if you mispronounce Chipotle or Aristotle?

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Just once, I’d like a username and password prompt say, “Okay… fine. Whatever. Close enough.”

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In England, you don’t say, “I’m going now.” You slap your knees and say, “Right!”, which means, “I should’ve left two hours ago but was too polite to interrupt you.”

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I may not be that funny or athletic or good-looking or smart or talented I forgot where I was going with this

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So, Trump blames the media for all the “anger” after all those bombs were sent.  Wow. Who knew that a reality star with no government experience or knowledge whatsoever, six bankruptcies, five kids from three different marriages, 11 charges of sexual assault, and over 4,000 lawsuits, could be so bad at being President?

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Since it IS Halloween, I took it upon myself to decorate the place with some gravestones and skeletons. For some inexplicable reason, though, that didn't go over all that well with the people here at the retirement home.

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Just remember, when you start to Excel, people start to Spreadsheet

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Okay, enough is enough. I want to see Donald Trump’s birth certificate to make sure he was born and not summoned.

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I’m thinking that if phone scammers dialed it down a bit, they’d be a ton more effective. Telling me I’ve won a million bucks? Obviously a scam. But telling me I’ve won a pizza? Here’s my social security number.

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People who can’t tell the difference between etymology and entomology bug me in ways I can’t put into words.

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