The Heroes We Need

Keith Richards & Betty White Escape 

From Earth to Repopulate the Species

From madhouse magazine

In a top secret NASA mission, our two most prized humans are being sent into outer space for the duration of the coronavirus, to ensure the survival of the species.

Rocker Keith Richards and almost 100-year-old actress and funny lady, Betty White, took off today from Cape Canaveral in Florida. 

The secret mission, known as Operation ‘Midnight Rambler’, has been planned for years and there have been many drills and training missions over the years. 

“They are being kept safe at a space station in an undisclosed location. All we can say is that they are safe, and when this all blows over, they will be brought back to Earth in time for the Rolling Stones tour.” said NASA Spokesman Alex King. “If things take a turn for the worse here, the couple will immediately begin repopulating the earth.”

When reached for comment, Keith joked “Yeah mate, I am on Uranus and there are Klingons here. So is your mom.”

The space station is specially designed and equipped for this exact purpose. The duo will have all the comforts of home and they will have everything they need to survive long term. It is a self-contained, self-sufficient environment that can easily house 1000 people for 1000 years.

(Thanks, Joanne!)