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If I ever choose the thug life, my rapper name is going to be “Gershwin.” I’d distribute my music exclusively on compact discs with blue cover art.
Because then they’d be …
Ready for this?
Gershwin’s rap CDs in blue.
~~~~~
Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject? Now you mention Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
~~~~~
To demonstrate my superior intellect, I have decided to join Menses.
~~~~~
Okay, that’s it. I’m officially naming my TV remote “Waldo”
~~~~~
“Nice picture! These are your kids?”
“Yep. That’s Stephen, Kayleigh, and Austyn.”
“How old are they?”
“Elephen, threigh, and sevyn.”
~~~~~
A-a-a-a-and, that’s a wrap on yet another day where I acted like I knew what I was doing.
~~~~~
People who can’t distinguish between etymology and entomology bug me in ways I cannot put into words
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I had a dream last night that I was working at Starbucks and Steve Rogers walked in and ordered an iced Americano. And I said, “One iced Americano for the Iced Americano”, and then I woke myself by laughing too had at my own joke
~~~~~
Okay, wait… does Canada even have a president, or is it just whichever moose has the strongest antlers?
This post pleases me. Love you.
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