Random Status Updates

Minutus cantorum,

Minutus balorum,

Minutus carborate

Descendum pantorum

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When Googling, very few letters are more important than the “R” in Gary Oldman

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NOTE TO SELF: One of the worst things you can dress up as for an Overeaters Anonymous Halloween party is a giant Snickers bar.

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I’m not saying I drink a LOT of coffee, but I’m fairly sure my body will probably continue moving for about 24 hours after I die.

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I hope I’m not who I’m going to be when I grow up yet.

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My sons always used to roll their eyes when I went into my “When I was a kid, I had to walk to school in the snow, uphill, both ways!” speech. At least they did until the day I showed them my yearbook from good ol’ M.C. Escher Junior High.

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Whoever created the tradition of not seeing the bride in the wedding dress beforehand saved countless husbands everywhere from hours of dress shopping and will forever be a hero to all men.

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Happy Thanksgiving, dudes and dudettes. Enjoy your Turkey Day tomorrow, and just remember, nothin’ says lovin’ like somethin’ from the oven. Unless it’s a red spandex bodysuit with ostrich feathers, a can of 10W50 motor oil, and some fur-lined handcuffs.

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I’ve started preaching about the benefits of eating dried grapes.

It’s all about raisin awareness, really.

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Poetry Corner:

Ruth and Johnny

Side by side

Went out for

An auto ride.

They hit a bump

Ruth hit a tree

Johnny kept going

Ruthlessly