Sunday, June 20, 2021

Random Status Updates

An open letter to both Amazon Prime and Netflix:
I really don’t need that “Previously on…” feature, guys.
I’ve been watching this show for 18 hours straight.

~~~~~

I’m 100% in favor of gay marriage. It’s the Law of the Land and, according to the theme song, it sure worked for the Flintstones.

~~~~~

You’re never too old to say “horses” when you drive past some horses.

~~~~

All I’m saying is, if you want to call yourself the Lone Ranger, you shouldn’t have a partner with you everywhere you go.

~~~~~

In biblical times, if you loved your wife, you’d let her ride your ass all day.

I guess some things never change.

~~~~~

So, these murder hornets.
Do you send them a list of names, or what? 
How does this work?

~~~~~

I heard you like bad boys.
Well, I’m bad. At everything.
(Winks at you with both eyes)

~~~~~

The Coronavirus pandemic has been especially stressful for members of the Flat Earth Society. They fear that the continued social distancing measures could push people over the edge.

~~~~~

Do centaurs slap their own ass to go faster?
Asking for a friend.

~~~~~

How stupid is Elton John that he doesn’t know the word “astronaut”?

No comments:

Post a Comment