The Top 34 Quotes from Firefly/Serenity

In 2002, Josh Whedon's "Firefly" debuted on the Fox network, and was one of (if not the) best science-fiction shows on television. Set in the year 2517 after the arrival of humans in a new star system, it follows the adventures of the renegade crew of Serenity, a "Firefly-class" spaceship.

Unfortunately, for several reasons, the series less than one season (after eleven of the fourteen produced episodes were aired). But, via word of mouth and the Internet, the fan base grew so large that, in 2005, a full-length movie called "Serenity" was produced by Universal Studios.

One of the reasons it became so popular (in spite of its cancellation) was the snappy dialogue.  

Here are (in my humble opinion)...

The Top 34 Quotes from Firefly/Serenity

Mal: "Jayne, your mouth is talking. You might wanna look to that."

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Zoe: "First rule of battle, little one ... don't ever let them know where you are."

Mal: "WHOO-HOO! I'M RIGHT HERE! I'M RIGHT HERE! YOU WANT SOME O' ME?! YEAH YOU DO! COME ON! COME ON! AAAAAH! Whoo-hoo!"

Zoe: "'Course, there're other schools of thought."

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Kaylee: "Yes sir, Captain Tightpants!"

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Wash: "Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction."

Zoe: "We live in a spaceship, dear."

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Mal: "Mercy is the mark of a great man."

     [stabs Atherton Wing]

Mal: "Guess I'm just a good man."

     [stabs Atherton Wing]

Mal: "Well, I'm all right."

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Mal to Jayne: "Well, my time of not taking you seriously is coming to a middle."

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Jayne: "Shiny. Let's be bad guys."

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Simon: "Are you Alliance?"

Jubal Early: "Am I a lion?"

Simon: "What?"

Jubal Early: "I don't think of myself as a lion. You might as well, though, I have a mighty roar."

Simon: "I said 'Alliance.'"

Jubal Early: "Oh, I thought ... "

Simon: "No, I was ... "

Jubal Early: "That's weird."

~~~~~

Jayne: "Ten percent of nothin' is ... let me do the math here ... nothin' into nothin' ... carry the nothin' ... "

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Badger: "'Course you couldn't buy an invite with a diamond the size of a testicle, but I got my hands on a couple."

Mal and Jayne: (sniggering)

Badger: " ... of invites!"

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Mal: "I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you."

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Jayne: "You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with until you understand who's in ruttin’ charge here."

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Mal: "Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill 'em right back!"

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Wash: "Here lies my beloved Zoe, my autumn flower ... somewhat less attractive now that she's all corpsified and gross."

~~~~~

River Tam: "Also? I can kill you with my brain."

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Wash: "Terse? I can be terse. Once, in flight school, I was laconic."

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Zoe: "If they take the ship, they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skin into their clothes ... and if we're very, very lucky, they'll do it in that order."

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Mal: "If anyone gets nosy, just ...you know ... shoot 'em. "

Zoe: "Shoot 'em?"

Mal: "Politely."

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Kayle: "Going on a year now, nothins twixed my neathers not run on batteries."

Mal: "I can't know that."

Jayne: "I can stand to hear a little more."

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Mal: "Wash, we got some local color happening. A grand entrance would not go amiss."

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Wash: "I've been under fire before. Well ... I've been in a fire. Actually, I was fired. I can handle myself."

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Mal: "Just get us on the ground!"

Wash: "That part will happen pretty definitely!"

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Mal: "Next time you want to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face."

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Wash: "Man walks down the street in a hat like that, you know he's not afraid of anything ..."

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Mal: I aim to misbehave.

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Wash: This landing is gonna get pretty interesting.

Mal: Define “interesting”.

Wash: Oh God, oh God, we’re all going to die?

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Wash (imitating dinosaur 1): Yes.. yes.. this is a fertile land, and we will thrive. We will rule over all this land, and we will call it… This Land.

Wash (imitating dinosaur 2): I think we should call it your grave!

Wash (imitating dinosaur 1): Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!

~~~~~

Mal: We're not gonna die. We can't die, Bendis. You know why? Because we are so very pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die.

~~~~~

Jayne:  Can you stop her from bein' so cheerful?

Mal: I don't believe there is a power in the verse that can stop Kaylee from being cheerful.

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Jayne: Testing. Testing, Captain, can you hear me?

Mal: I'm standing right here.

Jayne: You're coming through good and loud.

Mal: 'Cause I'm standing right here.

~~~~~

Zoë: Sir? I like you to take the helm, please. I need this man to tear all my clothes off.

Wash: Work, work, work...

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Zoë: Captain will come up with a plan.

Kaylee: That's good. Right?

Zoë: Possibly you're not recalling some of his previous plans.

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Jayne: I married me a powerful ugly creature.

Mal: [dressed as Jayne's wife to lure bandits] How can you say that? How can you shame me in front of new people?

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Book: If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater.