The Modern Monster Mash
BORIS
You remember in the 60's when I invented the mash
Well now the time is come for me to update that smash
Since I've been out of the fright game for 52 odd years
I invited a new crew to spread spooky cheer
The first to arrive was Dr. Hannibal Lecter
He brought his own date, and seemed to respect her
They hit the dance floor, with a Jive and a jitter
Then he ripped off her face! He's pulling out her liver
BACK UP SINGERS
That's really gross
BORIS
Oh my god what just happened?
BACK UP SINGERS
He ate her face
BORIS
Yes I know! I saw!!
BACK UP SINGERS
Speaking of SAW
JIGSAW
I like to play disgusting games
BACK UP SINGERS
He broke his jaw
BORIS
That is way too graphic, I'm going to faint
Surely all the other guests won't be this rude
Like this classic monster, a scary hip dude
He's got a kooky style and a spooktastic look
Oh my god he just hung the waiter on a meat hook!!! Why?
BACK UP SINGERS
He's Leatherface
BORIS
Who's Freddy Krueger?
BACK UP SINGERS
He haunts your dreams
BORIS
Oooh he sounds like a real spooker!
FREDDY
I murder teens
You can't escape me, bitch!
BORIS
Language!
In my day the monsters would just gave you a spook
Nowadays, it seems they all just want to make you puke
Ah the Human Centepede, that sounds like a hit
Wait, the ones in the back have to eat the front ones shit?!
Enough, the party's over! Everybody out!
You all have no idea what "Spooktober" is about
Here comes the Wolfman, he'll show you how it's done
He knows how to be creepy, but he always keeps it fun.
Nooo! That was my friend.
Why did he meet such a horrifying end?
Is it too much to ask to have some monsters dance
It's really quite a hoot if you'd give it half a chance
JIGSAW
This guy won't let it go, I think it's rather sad
FREDDY
Guys, I feel guilty
LECTER
And I also feel bad
LEATHERFACE
Let's give him a couple moves, it's the least we could do
JIGSAW
Okay places everybody and a one and a two
MONSTERS
Look at us dance
BORIS
You did the monster dance?
LEATHERFACE
Hey look, jazz hands
BORIS
Wait, don't twist too fast
VICTIMS
Our skulls are smashed
LEATHERFACE
Oh great, it's the girl from the ring
BACK UP SINGERS
Her heart is black
BORIS
She really knows how to swing
FREDDY
I wouldn't look directly at her face if I were you
LEATHERFACE
Oh well, we tried
FREDDIE
He died doing what he loved
JIGSAW
Monster choreography.
Hey guys, I know a game we could play
Guys?
Anyone?
No?
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