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Sing like you don't need the money; love like you'll never get hurt; dance like there's nobody watching; email like it may one day be read aloud in a deposition.
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Important Safety Tip: If you name your dog “Shark,” don’t take it to the beach.
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“One if by land,
Two if by sea,
Three if by air.”
- Paul Revere
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Look, some days you go to the gym and eat salads, some days you eat cupcakes and watch TV without your pants on. It’s called balance. Look it up.
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I went out for a run this morning, but I came back after a couple of minutes because I forgot something.
I forgot that I can’t run for more than a couple of minutes.
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I love living in LA. It’s kind of like making an agreement that an earthquake is allowed to kill me at any random moment during the course of my life in exchange for never having to wear a heavy jacket.
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While most puns make me feel numb, mathematics puns make me feel number.
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Anyone who doesn’t like musicals because “people don’t just start randomly singing and dancing all of a sudden in real life” have obviously never been to my house.
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I wonder if Eric Clapton really thought she looked wonderful tonight, or was it just the 20th outfit she’d tried and he just wanted to get to the party?
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