• Less interference in their bodily autonomy.
• Fewer creeps
• More pockets
~~~~~
One thing that sucks about being a grownup is no longer being able to say, “My Mom said no” when someone wants to come over
~~~~~
I have a “dry clean only” sweater that is about to learn some harsh truths about living with me.
~~~~~
Has anybody else ever noticed that Dove chocolate tastes WAY better than their soap?
I’m asking for a friend.
~~~~~
I got the words “jacuzzi” and “yakuza” confused.
Now I’m in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
~~~~~
There was a young man
From Cork who got limericks
And haikus confused
~~~~~
Somebody needs to invent a Shazam-type app, but instead of music, it’s for that weird noise your car is making.
~~~~~
These GPA-looking gas prices are too damn high. $3.89 is Summa Cum Laude gas. I need me some Academic Probation gas.
~~~~~
Like Jackie Chan, I do all my own stunts.
But never intentionally.
~~~~~
How come women named Deborah often go by Deb, but never by Bruh?
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