Friday, August 22, 2014

Star Trek: 2014


One day, at the local diner...

Two opposing candidates for a County office happened to be sitting next to each other in the local diner.

One turned to the other and said, "You know why I'm going to win this election? Because of my 'personal touch.' For example, I always tip waitresses really well and then ask them to vote for me."

"Oh, really?" replied the other. "I always tip a nickel and ask them to vote for you."

(Thanks, Trev!)


The f**k to do you mean, "for six year olds"?


The last time...


Thursday, August 21, 2014

Kid Rock

Of all the possible sentences that can be strung together using the English language, this is not one that my brain was prepared to process.


One day, on the church steps

A young kid is sitting on some church steps shaking a bottle of liquid and watching the bubbles rise when a priest walks out from inside and asks him, "What have you got there, my son?"

The boy says, "This is the most powerful liquid in the world, Father! It's turpentine!"

The priest says, "Oh, you have that wrong lad. The most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. Why if you put one drop on a pregnant woman's belly, she'll pass a girl, and if you put two drops on a pregnant woman's belly, she'll pass a boy!"

The kid responds, "Ah, that ain't nothing, Father. If you put two drops of this on a cat's ass, it'll pass a motorcycle!"


An interesting take on "Family Guy"


I honestly don't know whether to be disdainful or impressed


Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Yeah. I know THIS feeling


Ah, Love....

Website Wednesday 14.33

Website Wednesday
a subsidiary of Skip's House of Chaos

"From the Large Intestine of the Internets,
through the Sphincter of Electronic Mail..."

            I remember when the word “marathon
            meant “a long distance race.” Now it
            means: “I just watched all 201 episodes
            of The Office in one session, leaving my sofa
            looking like its made out of memory foam."

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