SHOC

SHOC
Discerning content for Bad Hombres and Nasty Women

Monday, March 27, 2017

When you try to do this in Germany





(via)

Monday Mind Game

Armed robbers invaded a bank. They were busy looting when suddenly a phone rang. The phone happened to be at the reception. One of the robber asked the receptionist to attend the call and talk without giving away the situation. The call happen to be from her mother. She spoke, 'Do you have any emergency mom? Can you give me a call when I get home, I could really use your help in buying new curtains?' Then she hangs up.


The robbers are busy when the police arrives suddenly along with the mother of the receptionist. How did she know about the robbery?






Give up?
(I thought you would. Weenie.)

Drag your cursor between the asterisks for the answer:





*



The receptionist was pretty clever she played with the mute button of the phone while talking with her mother. She muted everything except the word emergency, call and help. So while talking, she sounded like,

 "Emergency… Call… Help" 

to her mother who then called the police.


*

Happy Monday, Little Ducks!


Sunday, March 26, 2017

North Korean missile launch trial




(via)

Nine Important Facts to Remember as We Grow Older


Nine Important Facts to 
Remember as We Grow Older

#9 Death is the Number One killer in the world.

#8 Life is sexually transmitted.

#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hankypanky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow. 



(tip o' the hat to Billy, my favorite right-wing love muffin!)