Saturday, December 20, 2014

Canadian Romeo and Juliet




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Friday, December 19, 2014

Christmas Genius




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One day, at the job interview...

A man goes to a job interview for a custodial position at the local high school. He's asked to sit down on a chair, and the interviewer starts questioning him.

"So son, where did you receive your education?"

The man replied "Yale".

The interviewer, pleasantly surprised, says "Yale? Hard to believe you went to Yale to become a janitor. When did you graduate?"

"I yust got out last week."


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The anticipation is KILLING me!




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Just to piss North Korea off


Okay, just one more...



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Thursday, December 18, 2014

The darkest Christmas tie, ever...




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The Gift Certificate

On his 74th birthday, a man received a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation that was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.

After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man, and wondered what he was in for.

The medicine man slowly, methodically produced a potion, handed it to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned, 'This is powerful medicine. It must be respected. You take only teaspoonful, and then say '1-2-3.' When you do that, you will become manlier than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform as long as you want."

The old man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?"

"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,'" he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until next full moon."

The old man was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!"
Immediately, he was the manliest of men.

His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and then she asked, "What was the '1-2-3' for?"


And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.



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Once Upon a Time...


We have two weeks to get our wardrobe together




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