Friday, July 25, 2014

Game over, man! Game over!




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One day, in the men's room...

A guy goes in to use a public men's room. When he finishes, he realizes there's no toilet paper.

Knocking on the stall next to him, he asks, "Hey, do have an extra roll of toilet paper?"

"I'm sorry, but I do not."

He knocks again. "Do you have a newspaper?"

"I'm sorry, but I do not."

He knocks again. "Do you have an old handkerchief?"

"I'm sorry, but I do not."

He knocks again. "Do you have change for a five?"



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Meanwhile, at Comic Con




(Thanks, Joel!)

Being the Fat Kid...




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Thursday, July 24, 2014

One small problem




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Old guys rule, the Next Generation

I saw old man Jones sitting on a park bench, scratching his head.

"What's going on, Mr. Jones?" says I. "Well", he said, "I am a bit confused. I got 2 more years at my furniture store then I'm selling out, retiring. I just got back from a big furniture convention in Chicago, and while I was there I met this French lady, from France. Well, you know old Ma Jones has been dead for years, so I asked the French lady to dinner but she didn't understand me. Luckily I had a note pad in my pocket, so I drew two people at a table eating. She said 'Ahhhh! Oui oui' so we had dinner. After dinner, with the aid of my drawing skills on the pad, I was able to ask her to go out dancing with me. Later when we got back to the hotel, I escorted her safely back to her room like a gentleman and wanted to say goodnight, but before I could get to my notepad, she took it from me and drew a beautiful four poster wooden bed on it."

"That's wonderful Mr. Jones, but why are you confused?"

"Well, I'm still wondering... how the hell did she know I was in the furniture business?"



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The Best Badass President Pic Yet

Dude.


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No, thank you.




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Wednesday, July 23, 2014

A World Map of Stereotypes


(Poke the pic with your pointy thingy to biggify)





(The HUGE, 82.2 megabyte version can be found here)

Website Wednesday 14.29


"From the Large Intestine of the Internets,
through the Sphincter of Electronic Mail..."



        My newest “Million-Dollar Idea”: A tongue condom for people
        who, for one reason or another,
have to eat food they don't like.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             


Top of the Heap:  Here's Why You Should Be Excited About the James Webb Space Telescope

Microsoft Just Laid Off Thousands of Employees With a Hilariously Bad Memo

Incredible drone video of the wildfire destruction in Washington State (Thanks, Melody!)

In Sink: The World's 7 Most Amazing Artificial Reefs

9 Common Words You Never Knew Were Actually Acronyms

How Not to Die on the World's Tallest Waterslide

13 Uncommon Punctuation Marks You Should Start Using Right Now

26 Amazing (and Strange) Google Earth Secrets

Listen to this Comcast customer's call from Hell

12 Letters That Didn't Make the Alphabet

A few things you might not know about Saturday Night Live

25 Facts You Always Believed That Aren't True

How to Be German in 25 Easy Steps (Thanks, Susan!)

6 Famous Documentaries That Were Shockingly Full of Crap

When the US almost nuked the Moon

Potentially Habitable Super-Earth Discovered 16 Light Years Away

31 Signs You've Been a Teacher Too Long (Thanks again, Susan!)

How Domino's Pizza Lost Its Mascot




 Website Wednesday archives



(If you'd like to subscribe to the Website Wednesday mailing list,
shoot me an email and let me know)

Exciting stuff...


The James Webb Space Telescope is scheduled for launch in 2018.

The proper use of quotation marks




(Thanks, Miss C!)

The Smartest People in the World




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