Friday, October 24, 2014

If Tarzan had a reality show

(Thanks, Jim!)

One day, in a small town

A rapist and con artist get caught by the sheriff in a small town.

The town doesn’t have much money to take care of prisoners so the sheriff gets an idea. He decides he’ll charge money to let the townspeople punish the crooks and use the money to keep them in jail for as long as he can. The sheriff figures even a short stay in jail will be plenty after a little “justice” from the townspeople.

The sheriff takes the criminals to the town square, handcuffs them posts and sets up shop. He tells the people that the punishment should fit the crime so anyone can pay $1 to kick the rapist in the groin. Since the con artist used his image to wrong his victims, anyone can pay $1 to hit him in the face.

After a while there are two long lines for the criminals. Some people paying $5, $10, even $15 to get their licks in. After a long while, a guy steps up for his turn and sees the con artist’s face is a bloody pulp and thinks “He’s so beat up at this point, he probably can’t even feel anything anymore. I’m not going to waste my money on that.” So the guy walks up and kicks the con artist squarely in the 'nads.

The sheriff sees this and hurries over and says, “Hey son, you can’t do that here.”

The man asks, “Why not?”

And the sheriff replies, “Because this is the punch line.”


Well, that's one way to do it...


Ever wonder how much you'd weigh on other planets?


Thursday, October 23, 2014

Jackie Chan sharing about his first experience working with Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon


The Big Fight

A guy and his wife were having a knock-down, drag-out fight. As the yelling and screaming escalated, the wife told the husband to get out of the house.

To spite her, the man walked upstairs and packed his bags. As he was walking back down the stairs with a suitcase in each hand, he was confronted by his irate spouse.

When they were at eye level she hissed, "I hope you die a slow and painful death."

He replied, "So, now you want me to stay?"


I, for one, welcome our new Martian overlords...


Sign Dump 14.17

 Well, that, and a cup of coffee...

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

The Good Old Days...


Website Wednesday 14.42

"From the Large Intestine of the Internets,
through the Sphincter of Electronic Mail..."

            All RIGHT!!! It looks like yours truly
            has become the first person to get
            out of a speeding ticket faking Ebola!

            On a totally unrelated note, can
            anyone recommend a good dry cleaners?

Top of the Heap:  101 Google tips, tricks, and hacks - the definitive Google search tips guide

31 Useful Gadgets That Might Even Change Your Life

and, on the other hand... 20 WTF Products That Really Shouldn't Exist

12 Things You Might Not Know About Dean Martin

NOW we're cooking! Bourbon Cough Syrup for Grownups

10 Painfully Obvious Truths That Everyone Forgets Too Soon

Check out this College Application Essay

23 Creative Solutions to Your Most Pressing First World Problems

How to Overcome Your Fear of Public Speaking (and give a great presentation)

The Most Influential Teens of 2014

The Reluctant Astronaut(s) - the relationship between Star Trek and NASA

The origins of 5 of the most famous Superheros (and Supervillains)

How To Be Effortlessly Witty (in 4 Effortful Steps)

Mac and Cheese Tricks You Need to Try

Bizarre Chinese Tourist Behavior PSA

How to Make a Go Bag

Coolness factor: 9.6 - Air Umbrella Creates Force Field That Keeps You Dry

Background Noise Generators

 Website Wednesday archives

(If you'd like to subscribe to the Website Wednesday mailing list,
shoot me an email and let me know)

Beef Made Easy

Cheat sheet for retail beef cuts
and recommended cooking methods
(poke the pic with your pointy thingy to biggify)


The Eternal Facepalm

This would be SO handy from time to time...