Saturday, April 19, 2014

Wisdom From the East


A Step-By-Step Guide To Explaining Gay Marriage To Children

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday TODAY to
Lt. Col. (and scubachick) Caroline Pogge

Friday, April 18, 2014

Pretty much every week...

One day, down on the farm...

A farmer's wife went into a coma at home, and he summoned the doctor.

"She's gone," said the doc after examining the woman. "I'm very sorry. I'll call the funeral home for you."

The morticians carried the body down the porch steps and started to round the corner of the house into the driveway when the lead bearer suddenly lurched to avoid a holly bush, lost his balance, and dropped his end of the stretcher. The jolt brought the woman back to consciousness. In a week, she'd made a full recovery and was back at the farm.

Several years later she went into a coma again. This time the doctor sadly assured her husband she was unquestionably dead.

The undertakers were summoned. As the stretcher bearers inched down the steps and headed for the driveway with the corpse, the farmer cautioned,

"Hey! Watch out for that holly bush!"


The more times you see it, the funnier it gets

(Thanks, Karen!)

I pretty sure this is my guardian angel...

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday TODAY to
scubadude Brett Bovard

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Bill Gates is a Pretty Amazing Guy


One day, at Harrods...

A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it.

As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a salesman standing right behind her - good looking as well.

Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Harrods. He politely greets the lady with, "Good day, Madam. How may we be of service today?"

Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little "incident", she asks, "Yes, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?"

He answers, "Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you're going to shit yourself when I tell you the price!"


Sign Dump 14.7