Monday, February 8, 2016

My sentiments exactly






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Monday Mind Game

Decipher the following sentences:


1. It is fruitless to become lachrymose over precipitately departed lacteal fluid.

2. Freedom from encrustations of grime is contiguous to rectitude.

3. Eschew the implement of correction and vitiate the scion.

4. It is fruitless to attempt to indoctrinate a superannuated canine with innovative maneuvers.

5. The temperature of aqueous content of an unremitting ogling saucepan does not reach 212 degrees F.

6. All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not auriferous.

7. Scintillate, scintillate, asteroid minific.

8. Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity

9. Where there are visible vapors in ignited carbonaceous materials, there is conflagration.

10. A plethora of individuals with expertise in culinary techniques vitiate the potable concoction produced by steeping certain comestibles.

11. Male cadavers are incapable of yielding testimony.

12.  Individuals who make their abode in vitreos edifices would be advised to refrain from catapulting projectiles.

13. Exclusive dedication to necessitous chores without interludes of hedonistic diversion renders John a hebetudinous fellow.

14.  A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates no congeries of miniscule verdant bryophyte.

15. The person presenting the finial cachinnation possesses thereby the primary cachinnation.

16. Missiles of ligneous or petrous consistency have the potential of fracturing my osseous structure, but appellations will remain sempiternally innocuous.





Give up?

Drag your cursor between the asterisks for the answers




*


1. Don't cry over spilled milk

2. Cleanliness is next to Godliness

3. Spare the rod and spoil the child.

4. You can't teach an old dog new tricks.

5. A watched pot never boils.

6. All that glitters is not gold.

7. Twinkle, twinkle, little star.

8. Beauty is only skin deep.

9. Where there's smoke, there's fire.

10. Too many cooks spoil the broth.

11. Dead men tell no tales.

12.  People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones

13. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

14. A rolling stone gathers no moss.

15. He who laughs last, laughs best.

16. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.


*

(Thanks, JackPack!)

Dads


Happy Monday, Little Dicks!

Sunday, February 7, 2016

A Writer's Best Friend




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The Top 15 Snippets of Dialogue Cut From Movies

15. The English Patient
Almasy: "I promise I'll come back for you. I promise I'll never leave you. Unlike most of the people who started watching this movie two and a half hours ago."


14. Groundhog Day

Phil: "You like boats, but not the ocean. You go to a lake in the summer with your family up in the mountains. There's a long wooden dock and a boathouse with boards missing from the roof, and a place you used to crawl underneath to be alone. You're a sucker for French poetry and rhinestones. You're very generous. You're kind to strangers and children, and when you stand in the snow you look like an angel. And for the 7468th day in a row, you're about to freak out and have me arrested for stalking."


13. On Golden Pond

Ethel: "Listen to me, mister. You're my knight in shining armor. Don't forget it."
Norman: "Eh? What was that? A glistening night in Barcelona?"


12. Last of the Mohicans

Hawkeye: "You stay alive, no matter what occurs! I will find you. No matter how long it takes, no matter how far, I will find you. I assure you, my love for you is as true and undying as the treaties the American government signed with my tribe."


11. Jerry Maguire

Dorothy: "Shut up, just shut up. You had me at 'hello.' My god, you're so handsome. But every time you open your mouth, I wanna puke!"


10. Anna Karenina

Count Vronsky: "I love you!"
Anna Karenina: "Why?"
Count Vronsky: "You can't ask why about love!"
Anna Karenina: "Why?"
Count Vronsky: "Because it's LOVE, for crying out loud!"
Anna Karenina: "Why?"
Count Vronsky: "What are you, a 2-year-old?!?"


  9. A Walk to Remember

Landon: "Our love is like the wind. I can't see it, but I can feel it. And I can break it, then smell it!"


  8. Sleepless in Seattle

Sam: "It was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together... and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home... only to no home I'd ever known... I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like... magic. And the things that woman could do with a top hat and a rabbit! OMFG!"


  7. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

Li Mu Bai: "I want to tell you with my last breath that I have always loved you. I didn't really overcome my fear of commitment so much as outlasted it."


  6. Four Weddings and a Funeral

Charles: "Ehm, look. Sorry, sorry. I just, ehm, well, this is a very stupid question and... particularly in view of our recent shopping excursion, but I just wondered, by any chance, ehm, eh, I mean obviously not because I guess I've only slept with 9 people, but-but I-I just wondered... ehh. I really feel, ehh, in short, to recap it slightly in a clearer version, eh, the words of David Cassidy in fact, eh, while he was still with the Partridge family, eh, 'I think I love you,' and eh, I... I just wondered by any chance you wouldn't like to... eh... eh... No, no, no of course not... I love you so much that I can only express it by quoting one of the great musical poets of our time, whose posters still adorn the walls of my bedroom... WAIT! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!?"


  5. Moonstruck

Ronny: "Not us! We are here to ruin ourselves and to break our hearts and love the wrong people and die. The storybooks are bullshit. Now I want you to come upstairs with me and get in my bed! You are absolute, totally wrong for me -- but I still want to bone you."


  4. Brokeback Mountain

Jack: "I wish I knew how to quit you! Control-Q doesn't seem to be working."


  3. Casablanca

Rick: "Here's looking at you, kid. It's much easier to contemplate your part in my life when there's alcohol involved."


  2. The Twilight Saga: New Moon

Edward: "I love you. You're my only reason to stay alive... if that's what I am. But just in case, what are your feelings regarding necrophilia?"


  1. Titanic

Jack: "You must do me this honor, Rose: Promise me you'll survive. That you won't give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise. Holy shit, I am SO. F%$KING. COLD."


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Damn, that was fast




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