SHOC

SHOC
Discerning content for Bad Hombres and Nasty Women

Friday, August 3, 2018

Random Status Updates

If we could only find a way to cheaply manufacture food, like some biotechnology where it just forms on its own, out of the ground or a tree or something, I’d bet that would help the world a lot. Man, I need to start writing this stuff down.

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Has anyone ever actually GOTTEN salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to ruin my life?

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I’ve often wondered if the clothing, shoe, and iPhone factories of Southeast Asia ever have a “Take Your Parents to Work Day”?

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Okay, I have a question: how does the Little Mermaid decide which creatures are her friends and which are her bra?

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I’ve come to the realization that I overuse exclamation points. Well, it ends today. Right now. I’ll never ever use one again. I’m extremely pumped about this. Yippee.

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With the rising number of self-driving vehicles, it’s only a matter of time before there’s a country song about how your truck left you, too.

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If you’d like to read along in The Gospel according to Shrek, open your Bibles to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

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I subconsciously think I’m better than drug addicts, but if there were a drug that gave you the feeling of having naturally had a full night’s sleep, I would inject that stuff directly into my eyeballs at the bus stop.

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One day, I want someone to look at me and say, “that’s him; he’s the one” and not follow it with “who ate all the donuts”

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It’s just a matter of time before they add the word “Syndrome” after my last name.


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