Sunday, September 30, 2012

Lost your digital camera? Here's the right way to get it back...

After losing my first underwater camera and housing off Catalina Island, I started putting a locked identification picture in the library.  It says, "This camera belongs to Skip Tucker..." with my phone number and email.

THIS dude did me one better.  

(Actually, he did me 21 better, but who's counting?)


One day, on the train...

A man was on a train. He is approached by a woman who asks "Are you Jewish?" The man replies that no, he is not, in fact, Jewish, so the woman walks away.

A few minutes later, the woman comes up to him again, and asks him again "Excuse me, but are you sure you're not Jewish?" The man puts down his newspaper and says that no, he is not Jewish.

A few more minutes, and the woman walks towards him a third time. "Sorry to keep bothering you, but are you absolutely sure you're not Jewish?" At this point, the man lets out an exasperated sigh and admits "Yes, fine, you got me, I'm Jewish. Are you satisfied now?"

The woman stops and thinks for a while, before telling him, "That's funny. You don't look Jewish."

(Thanks, Pete!)

Some Men...


Game of Thrones Addict

Hi. I'm Skip, and I'm addicted to Game of Thrones.

"Hi, Skip..."

(Damn you, Tally...)

(Way ahead of you there, Hoss)

Man, I could watch this all day.

We’ll finally get our chance to return to Westeros when Season 3 (based on the first half of Martin’s A Storm of Swords) premieres on March 31st, 2013.

Six months and five days.


Saturday, September 29, 2012

Stronger Than Love

(Thanks, Sue!)

Word Quiz

What is a word made up of
4 letters yet is also made 
up of 3. Although is 
written with 8 letters, and
then with 4. Rarely
consists of 6, and never 
is written with 5.

Give up?


Okay, click and drag between the asterisks for the answer(s)



Auto Correct

Yeah, that's what I meant.


Winter is Coming...

Okay, we're officially into Fall, and Winter is coming.
Here's a fun idea for when the temperature drops below freezing: Fill some balloons with water, add food coloring to each and leave them outside. Once they're frozen, cut the balloons off and they look like giant marbles!


Friday, September 28, 2012

Might want to rethink your seating arrangements...

(Thanks, Ross!)

Nerd Jokes

Q: What is the difference between a Quantum Theorist and a Beauty Therapist?
A: The Quantum Theorist uses Planck's Constant as a foundation, whereas the Beauty Therapist uses Max Factor.


Q: What's the difference between Max Factor and Quantum Theorist?
A: Max Factor has models that work.


Q: What did the Nuclear Physicist have for lunch?
A: Fission Chips.


The majority of people have an above average number of legs.


Nerd Pick-Up Lines

“Hey baby, if I were a particle and you were a quantum potential, would you let me penetrate your classically forbidden regions?”

“Baby, I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.”

“Hey, does this smell like chloroform?”

"I wish I was DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes"

"Baby, you must be auxin cuz you're giving me rapid stem elongation"


Yo mama’s so fat, her Patronus is a cake.


Yo mama’s so ugly not even fluorine would bond with her.


Yo mama’s so mean, she has no standard deviation.

Poor Pluto

Sign Outside a Gym

(Thanks, Kim!)

Thursday, September 27, 2012

This forest is old...

One day, at the fishin' hole...

Lem went fishing one morning, but after a short time he ran out of worms. Just then, he noticed a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth (frogs are excellent bass bait).

Knowing the snake couldn’t bite him with the frog in his mouth, Lem grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in his bait bucket.

Of course, NOW the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bitten. So, Lem grabbed his bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in the snake's mouth. His eyes rolled back and he went limp. He then released the cottonmouth back into the lake without incident and carried on fishing - using the frog as bait.

A short time later, Lem felt a nudge on his foot.

It was the snake, with two more frogs.


In this week's "I-HATE-When-This-Happens" department...

Okay, this made me laugh way-y-y too much.


Context and Punctuation

Well, that, and the fact that she's using PowerPoint.

PowerPoint is evil.


Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Remember when...?


Isms and Toys

   He who dies with the most toys, wins.
Hari Krishna
   He who plays with the most toys, wins,
   He who denies himself the most toys, wins.
   They were our toys first.
   There are many toy makers.
   The toys made themselves
Church of Christ, Scientist
   We are the toys
   Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you go straight to Hell if we catch you selling yours.
   All toys are fine with us.
   Toys with batteries are surely a sin.
   The doll is as important as the dump truck.
   Every boy can have as many toys as he wants
   Let me borrow that doll for a second.
   To heck with the rulebook, let's play!
   He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals, loses.
Seventh Day Adventist
   He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.
Church of Christ
   He whose toys make music, loses.
   Once played, always played.
Jehovah's Witnesses
   He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.
   He whose toys can talk, wins.
   Toys are a figment of your imagination.
   Once a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry.
   We don't care where the toys came from, let's just play with them.
   It is not possible to know whether toys make a bit of difference.
   Toys? What do I need toys for?
   I'm selling. You buying?
First Kinky Church
   You bet your ass we got toys.
First American Church
   We play only with cowboy toys.
Church of Scientology
   Toys 'R Us.


Coffee Shop Sign

Okay, THIS is funny.

(Thanks, Mikey!)

Bouncy Castle

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

The Ultimate Air Show (and I missed it) - the MOVIE!

A couple of days ago I posted some photos from my buddy Luis (hubby of BFF Donna) that he took of the Space Shuttle Endeavor as it flew over Los Angeles on its final flight atop a 747.

Well, Luis went one better and turned his pictures into a movie (of sorts), which gives a bit of a better idea of how spectacular this show was.


Good on ya, Luis!

Another exiting installment of "Do You Get It?"







Give up? Highlight the area between the two asterisks to reveal the answers


1. Mug Shot

2. The Picture Says It All

3. The Dark Knight Rises

4. Lemon Aid

5. Sex Tape

6. Sleeping Pill