TUNESMITH TUESDAY - "Rainy Night in Georgia" by Brook Benton (1970)

Rainy Night in Georgia

Hoverin' by my suitcase

Tryin' to find a warm place to spend the night

Heavy rain's fallin'

Seems I hear your voice callin' "it's all right"

A rainy night in Georgia

A rainy night in Georgia

Lord, I believe it's rainin' all over the world

I feel like it's rainin' all over the world

Neon signs a-flashin'

Taxicabs and buses passin' through the night

A distant moanin' of a train

Seems to play a sad refrain to the night

But it's a rainy night in Georgia

Such a rainy night in Georgia

Lord, I believe it's rainin' all over the world

I feel like it's rainin' all over the world

How many times I wondered

It still comes out the same

No matter how you look at it or think of it

It's life and you just got to play the game

Find me a place in a box car

So I take my guitar to pass some time

Late at night when it's hard to rest

I hold your picture to my chest and I feel fine, I feel fine

But it's a rainy night in Georgia

Baby, it's a rainy night in Georgia

Lord, I believe it's rainin' all over the world

Kinda lonely now and it's rainin' all over the world

Rainin', rainin' rainin', rainin', rainin' rainin', 

rainin', rainin', rainin', rainin'

TUNESMITH TUESDAY - "Shut Up and Dance" by Walk the Moon (2014)

Shut Up And Dance

"Oh don't you dare look back

Just keep your eyes on me"

I said, "You're holding back"

She said, "Shut up and dance with me!"

This woman is my destiny

She said, "Ooh-ooh-hoo

Shut up and dance with me"

We were victims of the night

The chemical, physical, kryptonite

Helpless to the bass and the fading light

Oh, we were bound to get together

Bound to get together

She took my arm

I don't know how it happened

We took the floor and she said

"Oh, don't you dare look back

Just keep your eyes on me"

I said, "You're holding back"

She said, "Shut up and dance with me!"

This woman is my destiny

She said, "Ooh-ooh-hoo

Shut up and dance with me"

A backless dress and some beat up sneaks

My discothèque, Juliet teenage dream

I felt it in my chest as she looked at me

I knew we were bound to be together

Bound to be together

She took my arm

I don't know how it happened

We took the floor and she said

"Oh, don't you dare look back

Just keep your eyes on me"

I said, "You're holding back"

She said, "Shut up and dance with me!"

This woman is my destiny

She said, "Ooh-ooh-hoo

Shut up and dance with me"

Oh, come on girl

Deep in her eyes

I think I see the future

I realize this is my last chance

She took my arm

I don't know how it happened

We took the floor and she said

"Oh, don't you dare look back

Just keep your eyes on me"

I said, "You're holding back"

She said, "Shut up and dance with me!"

This woman is my destiny

She said, "Ooh-ooh-hoo

Shut up and dance!"

"Don't you dare look back

Just keep your eyes on me"

I said, "You're holding back"

She said, "Shut up and dance with me!"

This woman is my destiny

She said, "Ooh-ooh-hoo

Shut up and dance with me"

Ooh-ooh-hoo, shut up and dance with me

Ooh-ooh-hoo, shut up and dance with me

TUNESMITH TUESDAY - "When A Man Loves A Woman" by Percy Sledge (1966)

When A Man Loves A Woman

When a man loves a woman,

Can't keep his mind on nothin' else,

He'd change the world for the good thing he's found.

If she is bad, he can't see it,

She can do no wrong,

Turn his back on his best friend if he put her down.

When a man loves a woman,

He'll spend his very last dime

Tryin' to hold on to what he needs.

He'd give up all his comforts

And sleep out in the rain,

If she said that's the way

It ought to be.

Well, this man loves you, woman.

I gave you everything I have,

Tryin' to hold on to your heartless love.

Baby, please don't treat me bad.

When a man loves a woman,

Down deep in his soul,

She can bring him such misery.

If she is playin' him for a fool,

He's the last one to know.

Lovin' eyes can never see.

When a man loves a woman

He can do her no wrong,

He can never want

Some other girl.

Yes,When a man loves a woman

I know exactly how he feels,

'Cause baby, baby, you're my world

When a man loves a woman....

TUNESMITH TUESDAY - "One More Minute" by Weird Al Yankovic (1985)

"One More Minute"

[constant "doo wop"s in the background throughout the song]

Aahh

Well I heard that you're leavin' (leavin')

Gonna leave me far behind (so far behind)

'Cause you found a brand new lover

You decided that I'm not your kind (aahh..)

So I pulled (I pulled) your name out (name out) 

Of my Rolodex (oohh..)

And I tore all your pictures in two

And I burned down the malt shop where we used to go

Just because it reminds me of you (dippity dippity doo)

That's right (that's right) you ain't gonna see me cryin'

I'm glad (I'm glad) that you found somebody new

'Cause I'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass

Than spend one more minute with you

I guess I might seem kinda bitter

You got me feeling down in the dumps

'Cause I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love

And I have to use the self-service pumps

Oh, so honey, let me help you with that suitcase

You ain't (you ain't) gonna break my heart in two

'Cause I'd rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face

Than spend one more minute with you

I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork

Than watch you going out with other men

I'd rather slam my fingers in a door (yah)

Again and again and again and again and again

Oh, can't you see what I'm tryin' to say, Darlin...

I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches (leeches)

Shove an icepick under a toenail or two

I'd rather clean all the bathroom in Grand Central Station 

With my tongue

Than spend one more minute with you

Yes, I'd rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks

Or stick my nostrils together with crazy glue

I'd rather dive into a swimming pool filled with 

Double-edged razor blades

Than spend one more minute with you

I'd rather rip my heart out of my ribcage with my bare hands

and then throw it on the floor and stomp on it 'till I die

Than spend one more minute with you

TUNESMITH TUESDAY - "Who Put the Bomp (in the Bomp, Bomp, Bomp)" by Barry Mann (1961)

Who Put the Bomp (in the Bomp, Bomp, Bomp)

I'd like to thank the guy who wrote the song

That made my baby fall in love with me"

Who put the bomp

In the bomp bah-bomp bah-bomp?

Who put the ram

In the rama-lama ding-dong?

Who put the bop

In the bop shoo-bop shoo-bop?

Who put the dip

In the dip da-dip da-dip?

Who was that man?

I'd like to shake his hand

He made my baby fall in love with me (Yeah)

When my baby heard

Bomp bah-bah bomp bah-bomp bah-bomp bah

Every word went right into her heart

And when she heard them singin'

Rama lama-lama lama-lama ding-dong

She said we'd never have to part

So who put the bomp

In the bomp bah-bomp bah-bomp?

Who put the ram

In the rama-lama ding-dong?

Who put the bop

In the bop shoo-bop shoo-bop?

Who put the dip

In the dip da-dip da-dip?

Who was that man?

I'd like to shake his hand

He made my baby fall in love with me (Yeah)

Each time that we're alone

Boogity boogity boogity boogity boogity boogity shoo

Sets my baby's heart all aglow

And every time we dance to

Dip da-dip da-dip, dip da-dip da-dip

She always says she loves me so

So who put the bomp

In the bomp bah-bomp bah-bomp?

Who put the ram

In the rama-lama ding-dong?

Who put the bop

In the bop shoo-bop shoo-bop?

Who put the dip

In the dip da-dip da-dip?

Who was that man?

I'd like to shake his hand

He made my baby fall in love with me (Yeah)

Darling, bomp bah-bah bomp, bah-bomp bah-bomp bomp

And, my honey, rama-lama ding-dong forever

And when I say dip-da-dip da-dip da-dip

You know I mean it from the bottom of my boogity boogity boogity shoo

TUNESMITH TUESDAY - "High Heel Sneakers" by Tommy Tucker (1964)

"High Heel Sneakers"

Put on your red dress baby, honey we're goin' out tonight.

Put on your red dress baby, honey we're goin' out tonight.

Want you to wear your boxin' gloves in case some fool might want to fight.

Put on your high heel sneakers, throw that wig hat on your head.

Put on your high heel sneakers, throw that wig hat on your head.

Honey I know you're gonna get real high, honey I know you're gonna knock 'em dead.

Want you to talk to me baby, mama and hold me tight,

Keep on holdin me baby, until you hold me just right

Put on your high-red dress mama, wear your wig-hat on your head

I want you to hold your head kinda high because I know your gonna knock em dead

Put on your white boots baby, pull em up on your legs so high

Put on your white boots baby, pull em up on your legs so high

I want you to look real good, you better even hide your thigh

Lord I want you to call my name this morning, call it sort of sweet and low

And make me think little darling, Lord I'm on the third floor!

Put on your high heel sneakers, wear that wig hat on your head

I want you to raise your dress real high because I know your gonna knock em dead

Raise your window woman, raise it soft and slow

See your man down there could be

You may don't know, anh-uh

Girl I ain't going out that do'

Oh, I see your man downstairs--

Look like your man, how do I know?

Could be yo' man, how do I know?

Put on your red dress baby, wear that wig hat on your head.

Put on that red dress baby, wear that wig hat on your head.

Want you to cock your forty five, in case some fool might want to fight.

Oh I know you're gonna get real high, oh I know you're gonna knock 'em dead.

I know you're gonna get real high, I know you're gonna knock 'em dead.

MONDAY MIND GAME

A guy walks into a store and steals a $100 bill from the register without the owner’s knowledge.

He then buys $70 worth of goods using the $100 bill, and then the owner gives him $30 change.

How much money did the owner lose?












Give up?
Drag your cursor between the asterisks for the answer:

*

Many people think the answer is 200 dollars. It seems like the owner had $100 stolen, and then had another $100 stolen in the second story. But remember the thief also paid using the $100 bill, so the owner actually gets back $100. The owner’s loss is $100.

*

Happy Monday, Little Ducks!

When You Are Old

This is one of the very few poems I actually took the time to memorize. I first heard it during a broadcast of from the first reboot of The Twilight Zone, called "Her Pilgrim Soul".

When You Are Old

by William Butler Yeats

When you are old and grey and full of sleep,

And nodding by the fire, take down this book,

And slowly read, and dream of the soft look

Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,

And loved your beauty with love false or true,

But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,

And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

And bending down beside the glowing bars,

Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled

And paced upon the mountains overhead

And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

Copenhagen Catchphrases

(via)