SHOC

SHOC
Discerning content for Bad Hombres and Nasty Women

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

I'm gonna solve it!



(Thanks, Debb!)

Jake the Ripper



Website Wednesday 18.13

Website Wednesday
a subsidiary of Skip's House of Chaos
(The 234,453rd Most Interesting Man in the World)
 

"From the Large Intestine of the Internets,

through the Sphincter of Electronic Mail,
peeing like a baby on a changing table
into the brisk digital wind..."  

It’s easy to deter ladies from eating Tide Pods,
but it’s quite a bit more difficult to deter…gents.


Top of the heap:  Disappointing Things Nobody Tells You About Being an Adult

17 Harmless April Fool's Pranks (That Are Easy To Pull Off)

Every Joke From Airplane!, Ranked

Fun Film Facts

What is the Riot Act, and Why Don't I Want It Read to Me?

Is sliced ketchup taking condiments too far?

23 Cordless Drill Tricks

America's Quietest Routes - an interactive map of the least-traveled roads in each state

Spring Cleaning Tips

Exocomets Detected Orbiting Nearby Stars. In Other Words:  ALIEN COMETS!

Ever wonder why are tennis balls yellow? (me, neither)

An interview with the world's paper airplane champion

Artificial reefs are being created by dumping NYC subway cars into the ocean

5 Treasures People Are Looking For Right Now

John Bolton's Curious Appearance in a Russian Gun Rights Video

No-Fail Tips For Giving Constructive Criticism at Work (Thanks, Emily!)



Love you, mean it. Let's do lunch. Have your people call my people. Ciao, bella. 
 Skip    ಠ_ಠ

 Website Wednesday archives


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Zuckerberg




(Thanks, Miss C!)

Wait, what???




(via)

Spidey's got game!


Tuesday, March 27, 2018

I was walking home...


Not too bad of an idea...


The Five Types of Fear

The Five Types of Fear

1. Terror

2. Panic

3. 14 missed calls from your mother

4. wrong ID/password

5. "We need to talk."

TUNESMITH TUESDAY - Spike Jones "Hawaiian War Chant"

"Hawaiian War Chant" was an American popular song whose original melody and lyrics were written in the 1860s by Prince Leleiohoku. The original title of the song was Kāua I Ka Huahuaʻi or "We Two in the Spray." It was not written as a chant, and the Hawaiian lyrics describe a clandestine meeting between two lovers, not a battle. The English title therefore has nothing to do with the song as it was originally written and performed in Hawaii.

Humorist Spike Jones recorded the song in February of 1946, featuring Carl Grayson on vocals, and it reached number eight on the "Hit Parade"

Spike Jones' Hawaiian War Chant

Aloha 'oe, aloha 'oe
E ke ononaha noho I ka lipo...

"As the sun pulls away from the shore and our boat sinks slowly in the west, we approach the island of Lulu."

*Boing!*

"Spelled backwards..."

*Boing!*

"...Ul-ul!"

"Ah! In the distance we hear Spike Jones and his Wacky Wakkakians!"

Chanting:
Hey ubba jibba huh-wah ee ah!
Hey ubba jibba huh-wah ee ah!
Hey ubba jibba huh-wah ee ah!
Hey ubba jibba huh-wah ee ah!

*Gurgling noise*

Chorus (In what is made to sound like a native language):
A-hoopa-toopi-looi eesi-doiki-dor
A-honna-lieba-whenya-double-aye

*Gurgling noise*

Hoo-hoo-ch-looeech (Tori-tori)
A-honna-lieba-whenya-double-aye

Ahlwai!
*Gurgle*
Tah-huh!
*Gurgle*
Ahlwai!
*Loud Gulp*
Tah-huh!
("Uuh!")

Chanting:
Kah ho willa higga-hooah ibba-ithuh (eh)
Iick-weh needah habeedi-go-hugula (eh-eh)
Boo-hoo-halooah iikhi gu-ii-gu-ii
Ahleenghi gubbahl aahrh
(A'Hannih-hannih-hannih!)

Bah-kho wheeya hihgka iiwhi-iiwhi (Eya-Ya)
Aihula lei-hahbidigo huhloo-ahla (Eya-Ya)
Goo-hoo huhloo-ah iikhi ghoi-ghoi
Alah-de-ihbeh whiya gubbahr-ahr!

(Ahwaihi!)
Ahwaihi!
("Hubbuh hubbuh hubbuh!")
Tah-huh!
("Zooot!")
Ahlwai!
("Boy!")
Tah-huh!

*Trumpet*

*Donald Duck gargling*

*Trumpet*

*Donald gargling again*

*Trumpet and sound effects*

Stuff No One Ever Told Me




(more here)