SHOC

SHOC
Discerning content for Bad Hombres and Nasty Women

Tuesday, January 19, 2021

Baby Bear, all grown up





(via)

TWEETS OF THE WEEK


The Gospels, In a Nutshell





(via)

An Olygowhatsitwho?




(via)

The Cask of Amontillado, Updated





(via)

TUNESMITH TUESDAY - "The Ballad of Bonnie and Clyde" by Georgie Fame



The Ballad of Bonnie and Clyde

Bonnie and Clyde were pretty looking people
But I can tell you people
They were the devil's children
Bonnie and Clyde began their evil doing
One lazy afternoon down Savannah way
They robbed a store
And hightailed out of that town
Got clean away in a stolen car
And waited till the heat died down

Bonnie and Clyde advanced their reputation
And made the graduation
Into the banking business
"Reach for the sky" sweet-talking Clyde would holler
As Bonnie loaded dollars in the dewlap bag
Now one brave man, he tried to take 'em alone
They left him lying in a pool of blood
And laughed about it all the way home.

Bonnie and Clyde got to be public enemy number one
Running and hiding from every American lawman's gun
They used to laugh about dying
But deep inside 'em they knew
That pretty soon they'd be lying
Beneath the ground together
Pushing up daisies to welcome the sun
And the morning dew

Acting upon reliable information
A federal deputation laid a deadly ambush
When Bonnie and Clyde came walking in the sunshine
A half a dozen carbines opened up on them

Bonnie and Clyde
They lived a lot together
And finally together
They died

Biome Names?





(via)

Oh, yeah...




(via)

Monday, January 18, 2021

Mawwaige...




(via)

Poor Patty





(via)

MONDAY MIND GAME

Hidden in each sentence is a word. For example, in the sentence: "When I grow up, I want to be a ranger," there is a hidden animal. The hidden word is BEAR from "to BE A Ranger". 

Now, try to identify the hidden colors in the sentences below:


I agree not to eat all the food.

Bob decided to jump in, knowing that this is his only choice.

The sunset makes Cairo seem magnificent.

Some states ship lumber and coal on canal barges.













Give up?
Drag your cursor between the asterisks for the answers:



*

GREEN
i aGREE Not to eat all the food.

PINK
bob decided to jumP IN, Knowing that this is his only choice.

ROSE
the sunset makes caiRO SEem magnificent.

PLUM
Some states shiP LUMber and coal on canal barges.

*

Borg Lines

Blonde Borgs have the same fun.

Borg Starter Kit:  some assimilation required.

Borg saying:  We came.  We assimilated.  We left.

Borg spreadsheet program:  Locutus 1-2-3.

Borg virus detected. (A)ssimilate? (Y/y)

Borg, James Borg. Vodka martini, gin is irrelevant.

BorgBurgers. We do it our way. Your way is irrelevant.

Geraldo of Borg: Next: brothers who assimilate sisters.

Groucho Borg: That's the silliest thing I ever assimilated.

HersheyBORG: Wrappers are futile. Chocolate will be assimilated.

Bart of Borg - who the hell are you?

Bugs Bunny of Borg. What's up, Collective?

Caffeine of Borg.  Sleep is irrelevant.

Descartes of Borg: I assimilate, therefore I am.

Drunk of Borg. Resistance is floor tile.

Flatulus of Borg. Prepare to pull my finger.

Fudd of Borg! Wesistance is usewess!  Pwepawe to be assimiwated!

Ginsu of Borg. You will be assimilated - but WAIT! There's MORE!

Homer of Borg. Prepare to be... ooooohh, doughnuts!

Shakespeare of Borg. Prepare to be, or not to be, assimilated.

Yoda of Borg: Irrelevant the Force is.

My other computer is a Borg.

P-Porky P-Pig of Borg: You will be assim-assim... absorbed.

Pythagoras of Borg - Distance is irrelevant.

Q: How many Borg does it take to screw in a lightbulb?   
A: All of them.

The Borg are coming!  Quick, try and look useless.

The Borg Assimilated My Race And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt!

The Borg: Calm, Cool and Collective.

We have engaged the Borg. The wedding will be Friday.

Daffy Duck of Borg: Yoooouuuuu'rreee Irrrrrr..relevant! 

Borg Voicemail Message:
WE ARE BORG.  
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.  
YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED.
But we're not home right now.  So leave a message at the tone and we'll assimilate you later.

Murrayzona





(via)

Husband Level: 100





(via)

HAPPY MONDAY, LITTLE DUCKS!


Famous Poems Written as Limericks

Famous Poems Written as Limericks

The Raven

There once was a girl named Lenore
And a bird and a bust and a door
And a guy with depression
And a whole lot of questions
And the bird always says, "Nevermore."


Footprints in the Sand

There was a man who, at low tide
Would walk with the Lord by his side
Jesus said, "Now look back;
You'll see one set of tracks.
That's when you got a piggyback ride."


Response to "This is Just To Say"

This note of the fridge is to say
That those ripe plums that you put away
Well, I ate them last night
They tasted all right
Plus I slept with you sister. M'kay?


Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening

There once was a horse-riding chap
Who took a trip in a cold snap
He stopped in the snow
But he soon had to go;
He was miles away from a nap.


Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

There was an old father of Dylan
Who was seriously, mortally illin'
"I want," Dylan said
"You to bitch till you're dead.
"I'll be pissed if you kick it while chillin."


I Wandered Lonely As a Cloud

There once was a poet named Will
Who tramped his way over a hill
And was speechless for hours
Over some stupid flowers
This was years before TV, but still.



(via)



Saturday, January 16, 2021

Okay, this is weird...



(via)

Sign Dump 20.2


To each his own, I guess





(via)

Walmart Hires Vampires

Walmart Hires Vampires.


Think about it.

This would explain why it’s open 24 hours a day, why working there is often described as “soul-sucking,” and why there are almost always no windows.

Most damningly, Walmart is one of the few stores that specifically hires a “greeter” with no other job than to welcome every person into the store.

Because vampires have to be invited in.

Wake up, America!

Short Story of the Day





(via)

M'm! M'm! Good! M'm! M'm! Good!





(via)

This week's Moment of Zen


For the Record





(via)

This collaboration makes so much sense

Fiesta Strength



(via)