SHOC

SHOC
Discerning content for Bad Hombres and Nasty Women

Monday, October 31, 2016

Here's an idea...




(via)

Halloween Monday Mind Game

On a dark and stormy Halloween night, four kids, Luke, Sarah, John, and Bob, walk into a haunted house during a blackout. Only one is going to be able to escape.

They take a staircase to the second floor, go through a trapdoor on the left, then go up a ladder to the right, followed by a 32-foot slide to the basement through the mouth of a Giant Panda.

In one corner of the murky cellar is a chainsaw, a dagger, a rope with a noose, and an electric chair. 

Written on the wall in blood are the words,

“Only one will survive

choose your death!” 

Bob takes the rope, Sarah picks up the dagger, John chooses the chainsaw, and Luke uses the chair.

Which one survives?









Give up?



Drag your cursor between the asterisks for the answer...




*


Luke, because there's no power (there's a blackout)


*

Halloween



Now THIS is a great Halloween costume!

And finally, I want to DO this (maybe next year)

Happy Halloween Monday, Little Ducks!


I'll just leave this here...


Sunday, October 30, 2016

I'm going to hang this sign on my door tomorrow night...



(via)

Each Second We Live


“Each second we live is a new and unique moment of the universe, a moment that will never be again. And what do we teach our children? We teach them that two and two make four, and that Paris is the capital of France. When will we also teach them what they are? We should say to each of them: Do you know what you are? You are a marvel. You are unique. In all the years that have passed, there has never been another child like you. Your legs, your arms, your clever fingers, the way you move. You may become a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo, a Beethoven. You have the capacity for anything. Yes, you are a marvel. And when you grow up, can you then harm another who is, like you, a marvel? You must work, we must all work, to make the world worthy of its children.” 


Truth In Advertising

Yup.
It's some dumb art, on a square.

When the Galactic Empire attacks

When you're told to evacuate because the Galactic Empire just took over your city, and you just have time to grab the essentials



(via)

Saturday, October 29, 2016

Million-dollar idea...



(Thanks, Thomas!)

My Favorite Animal

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said "Fried chicken."

She said I wasn't funny, but she must've been wrong, because everyone else in the class laughed.

My parents told me to always tell the truth, and I did. Fried chicken IS my favorite animal.

I told my dad what happened and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He told me that they love animals very much.

I do, too. Especially chicken, pork, and beef.

Anyway, my teacher got mad and sent me to the principal's office.

I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked my what my favorite live animal was.

I told her it was chicken. Then she asked why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.

She sent me back to the principal's office.

He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.

Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous military person I admired most.

I told her, "Colonel Sanders."

Guess where I am now...


Survival in the Desert

The Tree of Life (or Shajarat-al-Hayat) in Bahrain has been making a seemingly impossible living out of dry sand for almost 430 years. There is no apparent source of water and other vegetation for miles around. The mystery of the survival of the tree has made it a legend.

Locals have attributed mysterious qualities to the tree, and many believe that it marks the true location of the Garden of Eden.

Friday, October 28, 2016

Scientific Study on Crows




(Thanks, Ivan!)

One day, at the barbershop

Donald Trump and President Obama end up at the same barbershop.

As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn into a political brawl.

As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave.

Trump was quick to stop him saying "No way buddy, my wife will smell that and think I've been in a damn whorehouse."

The second barber turned to Obama and said "How about you?"


Obama replied, "Go ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."