Tuesday, October 31, 2017
The top 10 signs you’re
too old to trick or treat
10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You have to have another kid chew your candy for you.
8. You ask for high-fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
6. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask," and you're not wearing a mask.
5. When the door opens, you yell "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.
Kristin Stewart Explains Halloween
ZOMBIE PICKUP LINES
* Honest! I AM interested in your brain...
* I could tell you a joke, it would kill you, but I see you've heard it before.
* You think this is nice now, wait until Rigor Mortis sets in!
* If I told you you had a nice body, would you let me break a piece off and take it home?
* Is that a writhing mass of maggots in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
* It must be very hard to get into those pants, considering that you have no arms.