Discerning content for Bad Hombres and Nasty Women

Saturday, April 29, 2017

Not the iceberg we deserve...

(Thanks, Jim!)

Secret Message Discovered

Secret Message Discovered
On The One-Dollar Bill


Crack the Code

India Foxtrot Yankee Oscar Uniform Charlie Alpha November Romeo Echo Alpha Delta Tango Hotel India Sierra India Mike November Echo Victor Echo Romeo Golf Oscar November November Alpha Golf India Victor Echo Yankee Oscar Uniform Uniform Papa November Echo Victor Echo Romeo Golf Oscar November November Alpha Limo Echo Tango Yankee Oscar Uniform Delta Oscar Whisky November November Echo Victor Echo Romeo Golf Oscar November November Alpha Romeo Uniform November Alpha Romeo Oscar Uniform November Delta Alpha November Delta Delta Exho Sierra Echo Romeo Tango Yankee Oscar Uniform

I'd be much more inclined to grow up...

The Weekend's Here!

Friday, April 28, 2017

Let's all take a moment and thank Jupiter

The planet is so enormous that it's gravity helps to pull and interrupt most potential asteroids from hitting Earth.


That first night in your own bed...

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman are all scheduled to give speeches to the Royal Deaf-Mute Society. All are intent on making an impression on their audience.

The Englishman goes first, and to the surprise of his colleagues, starts by rubbing first his chest, and then his groin. When he finishes, the Scotsman and Irishman ask him what he was doing.

“Well,” he explained, “by rubbing my chest I indicated breasts and thus ladies, and by rubbing my groin I indicated balls and thus gentlemen. So my speech started: ‘Ladies and Gentlemen.’”

On his way up to the podium the Scotsman thought to himself, “I’ll one-up that English bastard!” He started his speech by making an antler symbol with his fingers above his head before also rubbing his chest and his groin. When he finished, his colleagues asked what he was doing.

“Well,” he explained, “by imitating antlers and then rubbing my chest and groin I was starting my speech by saying, ‘Dear Ladies and Gentlemen.’”

On his way up to the podium the Irishman thought to himself, I’ll show those bastards!” He started his speech by making an antler symbol above his head, rubbing his chest, and then his groin, and then miming masturbation. When he finished, his colleagues asked him what he was doing.

“Well,” he explained,” by imitating antlers, rubbing my chest and then my groin, and then miming masturbation, I was starting my speech by saying, ‘Dear Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure...’”

So sad but so true


Some Thoughts On Getting Older

(Thanks, Billy!)

Thursday, April 27, 2017

If High School and College Textbooks Were Honest

This is just cruel. They should go back to beating the passengers.


The job interview

A man with a winking problem applies for a position as a traveling salesman and goes in for an interview.

“Looking at your résumé, I can see that you’re more than qualified,” says the interviewer. “Unfortunately, we can’t have our sales reps constantly winking at customers, so we can’t hire you.”

“But wait,” says the man. “If I take two aspirin, I stop winking.”

“Then show me,” replies the interviewer.

So the guy reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out a pile of condoms in all different shapes, sizes, and colors before finally finding a packet of aspirin. He pops the pills and immediately stops winking.

“It’s great you stopped winking,” says the interviewer, “but we can’t have our salesmen womanizing all over the country.”

“What do you mean?” asks the man. “I’m happily married.”

“How do you explain all the condoms?” asks the interviewer.

“Oh, that,” sighs the man. “Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?”

THROWBACK THURSDAY - "Demotivational Posters"

(originally posted on March 18, 2011)

A whole buttload more here

Two types of wine tasters

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Siri's algorithm may still need a little tweaking...

Here's a nice, inspirational note from Uncle Nate


Website Wednesday 17.17

Website Wednesday
a subsidiary of Skip's House of Chaos
(The 234,453rd Most Interesting Man in the World)

"From the Large Intestine of the Internets,

through the Sphincter of Electronic Mail,
peeing like a baby on a changing table
into the brisk digital wind..."  

                    It’s really interesting to be alive in America at this point in history
                    because it’s like the collapse of the Roman Empire, but with WiFi.

Top of the heap:  The Web's Funniest Stories  (this should keep you busy for days)

The Top 10 Misconceptions About the Titanic

Spaceships in Alderaan Places - 100 Vehicles From Star Wars (Thanks, Rynier)

World Champion Freedivers, Stunt Doubles, and Sharks (Thanks, Beth!)

Joaquin Murietta - The Real Zorro?

Rethinking Critical Thinking With the Help of Carl Sagan

Stop Worrying That You Worry Too Much

19 Fictional Characters Whose Names You Don't Know

10 Things You Should Never Do to Your Lawn

New Super-Earth May Be the Best Bet Yet for Finding Signs of Extraterrestrial Life

Got a big tax refund? Here's what you should - and shouldn't - do with it

14 Simple Ways to Actually Improve Your Handwriting

A Letter to the Administrator of the EPA (from a 30-year employee who is heading out the door)

Bizarre Sports News From North Korea

Love you, mean it. Let's do lunch. Have your people call my people. Ciao, bella.
- Skip

 Website Wednesday archives

(If you'd like to subscribe to the Website Wednesday mailing list,
shoot me an email and let me know)

Ass Size Study


Chuck Norris

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Your Peak Ages Throughout Life


You never know what you'll find in a used textbook...



The Frugal Nun

A frugal nun decided that it was much cheaper to just dye the color back into her worn out clothes instead of buying new clothes.

Every year, the nun would go to a nearby dye shop to dye her clothes and hang them to dry.

When she returned to the store for the 10th time, she dyed and hung her clothes. When she came back to get her clothes, they were stiff and uncomfortable. She complained to the store manager and asked why that happened to her clothes.

The store manager replied:

"Well, Sister, old habits dye hard."