(jk - here's the original post, published on March 16, 2011)
Okay, so I just arrived in St. Louis to teach a seminar tomorrow and Friday. I've always thought a good slogan for St. Louis would be
"St. Louis: Just One Arch Away From
a Copyright Infringement Lawsuit"
Then I started thinking that Missouri's State Motto ("The Show Me State") was kinda lame, and that a MUCH better alternative (one that would also promote the tourist business) would be
"Missouri Loves Company"
Get it? Missouri Loves Company!
Yeah, they didn't like it either.
Anyway, with that in mind, here are some other State Slogans that, unfortunately were passed on by the Powers-That-Be:
ALABAMA:
Literacy Ain't Everything
ARKANSAS:
At Least We're not Oklahoma
CALIFORNIA:
Se Habla Ingles
CONNECTICUT:
New York City's OTHER Suburb
FLORIDA:
The Gunshine State
IDAHO:
Famous Potatoes ... and Neo-Nazis
ILLINOIS:
Gateway to Iowa
INDIANA:
One of Those Dreary States in the Midwest That Begins With a Vowel
KANSAS:
Hey, Cut Us Some Slack - We're STILL in Kansas, Toto!
KENTUCKY:
Tobacco is a Vegetable
MAINE:
For Sale
MARYLAND:
We're Better Than Virginia, Damn It!
MASSACHUSETTS:
Wicked Re-TAH-did
MINNESOTA:
Land of 7,000 lakes and 3,000 man-made ponds
MONTANA:
Where the Men are Men, the Women are Scarce and the Sheep are Nervous
NEW JERSEY:
The Garbage State
NEW MEXICO:
Lizards Make Excellent Pets
NEW YORK:
You Have the Right to Remain Silent; You Have the Right to an Attorney
NORTH CAROLINA:
Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
OHIO:
Don't Judge us by Cleveland
OREGON:
Jerry Garcia was here!
PENNSYLVANIA:
Cook with Coal
SOUTH CAROLINA:
Attention, K-Mart Shoppers
SOUTH DAKOTA:
Closer than North Dakota
TENNESSEE:
The Educashun State
TEXAS:
The Lone Star Beer State
UTAH:
Our Jesus is Better Than Your Jesus
VIRGINIA:
We're Better Than Maryland, Damn It!
WASHINGTON:
Keep Washington Green, Grow Hemp
WEST VIRGINIA:
Incest is Best
Skipnote: I was going to call this "Rejected State Mottos," but spellcheck says that it's supposed to be spelled "Mottoes." That just looked too weird. I wonder how Dan Quayle would've spelled it?
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