I, for one, love Roman numerals.
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I hate when homeless people shake their cup of coins at me. Yeah, I know you have more money than me. No need to rub it in.
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I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of prison…
…but apparently you can’t end a sentence with a proposition.
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How can you tell if someone has Alzheimer’s?
How can you tell if someone has Alzheimer’s?
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I’m not poor, I’m big loaned.
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The wife walks in the room and sees me rubbing coconut oil all over my body and says, “What are you doing?”
“Uhh, SOMEONE said I don’t glisten very well?”
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My girlfriend said her stomach was upset tonight.
I told her she should probably just apologize.
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Did you hear about the mentally ill guy who had sex with a girl in a laundromat, then ran off?
The headline in the paper read, “Nut screws washer and bolts.”
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What do you call a sandal-wearing Frenchman?
Phillippe Philoppe.
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The scariest thing to come out of the Muslim world is Algebra.
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