There was a boy who worked in the produce section of a supermarket. One day, a man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not need a whole head, but only a half. The clerk then said he would go ask his manager about the matter.
He said to his manager, "There's some asshole out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce." As he was finishing saying this, he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "...and this gentleman wants to buy the other half." The manager okayed the deal and the man went on his way.
Later the manager called on the boy and said, "You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet and we like that around here. Where are you from son?"
The boy replied, "Minnesota sir."
"Oh really? How come you left Minnesota?" asked the manager.
The boy replied, "They're all just whores and hockey players up there."
"Is that right?" replied the manager, "I'll have you know that my wife is from Minnesota!!"
Without a pause, the boy replied, "No kidding! What team did she play for?"