Two Chicagoans die in an
unfortunate car wreck.
Tragic, especially considering they
didn’t exactly spend their days helping old ladies cross the street or
volunteering at the Boys and Girls club. Nope, these fellows went straight to the
Land Down Under.
The Devil, as is his custom, goes
to greet his two newest eternal residents, and despite rivers of lava and
torrents of brimstone, they’re standing around in jackets.
“Not hot enough for you?” asked the
Devil.
“What, this? Nah, this is like a
Spring day in Chicago.”
The Devil doesn’t take lightly to
such a slight, so he decides to really turn things up. The renewed eternal
hellfire and inferno has made the screams of the tormented souls in hell even
louder. Rivers of lava were overflowing their banks. The Devil goes to check on
his two Chicagoans, and sure enough he sees them lounging in shorts and
t-shirts.
“Not hot enough for you?” the devil
queries bewilderedly.
“What, this? Nah, this is like a
July in Chicago. In fact, I think the humidity was worse in the summer of ’96.”
The Devil is even more incensed. He
comes up with a new idea. Turn the thermostat way down. The cursed souls in
Hell are greeted by new but equally unbearable type of torture. The lava stops
flowing, brimstone stops glowing, and wouldn’t you know it, the ground they
stand on has frozen solid.
The Devil again searches out his
two Chicagoans, and to his dismay, they’re hugging and cheering.
“What’s this all about!?” the Devil
roared.
“THEY’VE DONE IT, IT’S FINALLY
HAPPENED, THE CUBS WON THE WORLD SERIES!!!”
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