Why is Santa so happy?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live
(Alternate: Because of all of his ho ho ho's)
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa, "Dear Santa, please send me a little sister."
Santa wrote back, "OK, send me your mother."
The guy was in the store buying a fake Christmas tree. The shop attendant asked him, "Are you going to put that tree up yourself?"
The guy replied, "Don't be disgusting! I'm going to put it in the living room!"
Why is Christmas like your job?
You do the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa?