1.You flunked high school physics but you amazingly can calculate the partial pressure of a gas in equilibrium and its solubility and absorption rate by the body during a dive using Henry’s Law!
2. Every morning the sound of shaving foam (psshhhht) makes you want to go diving.
3. You’re the only one of your office buddies that doesn’t snicker when the word “off-gassing” is mentioned.
4. You get out of bed in the morning by doing a back-roll.
5.You’ve never watched Star Wars but you’ll watch “The Abyss”, “Men Of Honor” or “Deep Blue Sea” 100 times.
6. Then you finally start watching the Star Wars movies and think to yourself “Man, Darth Vader really needs to get that regulator replaced!”
7. You show up at your neighborhood swimming pool during the off-season in full dive gear hoping to log some bottom time.
8. You’re the only one who isn’t blushing when you ask your friends, “Want to see some Nudi pictures?
9. You have more ‘C’ cards than credit cards in your wallet.
10. You’re more worried about your divers' insurance payments than your health insurance.
11. Your preferred method of getting high is to get narked on a deep dive.
12. When your kid’s first words are PA-DI instead of Dad-dy.
13. You see a perfectly good ship and think. “Boy, that would sure make a nice wreck to dive in!”
14. You spend most of your time picking apart the unrealities in the latest Hollywood diving flick rather than watching the movie.
15. You automatically equalize your ears by performing the Valsalva maneuver every time you step into an elevator.
16. You answer “Suunto” when asked what kind of computer you use.
17. You spit on your car windshield to prevent it from fogging up.
18. You can’t afford a wristwatch because you spent all your money on an expensive dive computer instead.
19. While others long for Rolex, Omega or Tag Heuer on their wrists you’d settle for a Mares, Suunto or Oceanic.
20. When you think your neighbors’ vacation to Belize was a waste of money because they didn’t do any diving.
21. When getting a “reverse squeeze” has nothing to do with your girlfriend grabbing your butt!
22. You can’t remember your wedding anniversary but always know when Discovery Channels “Shark Week” is on.
23. You get excited about the viz while you go swimming in a pool.
24. The only suit in your closet besides your wedding suit…is your wetsuit
25. And you need serious help… if your wedding suit IS your wetsuit.