Discerning content for Bad Hombres and Nasty Women

Friday, March 31, 2017

The Bunny Rabbit and Pancakes

A bunny rabbit wakes up one Sunday morning with an extreme craving to eat pancakes. This desire cannot wait and the forest diner is closed on Sundays, so he decides to hop all the way to the grocery store (which is about 25 minutes away). He gets there and buys everything he needs: cooking oil, pancake batter, four types of jam, Canadian maple syrup, butter, the works. As soon as he gets home though, he realizes he had forgotten that his frying pan was very old and ended up getting completely ruined last time he used it, and thinks to himself:

"Damn it! I really don't want to hop all that way and back again, it's almost an hour. Wait! the bear lives only five minutes away, he eats tons of food, and I know he has a bunch of frying pans, surely he won't mind lending me one!"

So he heads out to the bear's place. On the way, he starts thinking:

"You know, maybe the bear will want some of the pancakes since he's lending me a frying pan. Well, I guess that's fair, I mean, I couldn't make the pancakes without his frying pan. Out of the 15 pancakes I can make with the stuff I bought, I guess I can give him 5. Yeah, 10 will be more than enough for me.

"Hmm... well, the bear is much bigger than me, so what if he wants more than 5 pancakes? Well... I don't know, I guess that's all right. I don't usually eat much and I'll probably be fine if I eat just a few... So if he wants 10, well, 5 should be enough for me! I really only have this craving, and if I eat only a couple, it will probably go away (as they say, a lot more exciting at first...)

"Hmm... well... what if he wants more than 10? I mean, he's much bigger than me, it's not like I can do anything if he decides to just have them. If he says he wants to help out because he wants to eat some too, I can't really say no, after all, he is lending me a frying pan. But then he can come back with me and while we make them, he could just eat pancake after pancake and I can be left with nothing! I mean, what's the big deal, why can't he just lend me a damn frying pan for 20 damn minutes, he's got tons of them?? I always try to help him out if he asks for something, why can't he do the same?!"

Just about this time he gets to the bear's place. Knocks on the door, bear opens.

"You know what, bear? Fuck you, and fuck your frying pan!"

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