SHOC

SHOC
Discerning content for Bad Hombres and Nasty Women

Thursday, February 9, 2017

Throwback Thursday - "Updated Nursery Rhymes"

(originally published on February 19, 2013)


• JACK AND JILL went up the hill
To have a little fun
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son


• MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB

Her father shot it dead
Now it goes to school with her
Between two hunks of bread


• LITTLE MISS MUFFET sat on a tuffet

Her clothes all tattered and torn.
It had not been the spider that crept up beside her
But Little Boy Blue and his horn


• SIMPLE SIMON met a Pieman going to the fair

Said Simple Simon to the Pieman "What have you got there?"
Said the Pieman unto Simon
"Pies, you idiot!"


• THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL, who had a little curl

Right in the middle of her forehead
And when she was good, she was very very good
But when she was bad, she got a fur coat, jewels, and a sports car


• HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the King's horses and all the King's men
Had scrambled eggs on toast for breakfast


• HICKORY DICKORY DOCK

Three mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one
And the others got away with minor injuries


• HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat did a piddle

All over the bedside clock
The little dog laughed to see such fun
And the cat died of electric shock


• OLD MOTHER HUBBARD went to the cupboard

To get her poor daughter a dress
When she got there, the cupboard was bare
And so was her daughter I guess


• JACK BE NIMBLE Jack be quick

Jack jumped over the candlestick.
Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire


• THERE WAS AN OLD LADY who lived in a shoe

She had so many children, 
she qualified for food stamps and welfare.

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