Discerning content for Bad Hombres and Nasty Women

Thursday, December 22, 2016

A nutty joke

One night, Mr. Sims had terrible trouble getting to sleep due to loud banging noises and scuffling coming from his roof.

That next morning he ventured outside, looked up and saw that a very large, very angry looking bear had climbed onto his roof and had gotten trapped up there. He was wandering around growling and battering at the chimney.

Mr. Sims ran inside and without delay Googled, “Bear Catchers.” After a quick phone call he was assured the problem was all but taken care of, and within twenty minutes a truck marked “Coon County Bear Trapper” was pulling into his driveway, on the back was a massive rusty cage and in it the meanest looking mongrel of a dog you could ever find.

Out of the cabin climbed a burly, rough-looking dude whose jaw worked endlessly on its load of chewing tobacco. Reaching into his flannel pocket to retrieve a cigarette to boot he enquired who was the owner.

Mr. Sims wasted no time at all in explaining the situation. When he finished, the trapper walked over to his truck and pulled out a shotgun, a ladder and a baseball bat. He then leaned the ladder against the house, opened the cage up, and tucked the baseball bat under his arm. At this point he handed the shotgun to Mr. Sims.

As the trapper started up the ladder Mr. Sims yelled out, “Wait! What’s the plan, here?”

The trapper paused for a moment, turned to Mr. Sims and said, "I'm going up on the roof to beat the bear into submission with this baseball bat. When he falls down to the ground, my dog will bite him with his lockjaw on the testicles, and drag him into the cage on the back of the truck."

With that he started climbing again, at which point Mr. Sims yelled out, "Yeah, but what am I supposed do with the shotgun?"

The trapper turned and said, "If I fall off the roof before the bear, shoot the dog!"

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