SHOC
Discerning content for Bad Hombres and Nasty Women
Wednesday, May 31, 2017
Website Wednesday 17.22
Website
Wednesday
a subsidiary of Skip's House of Chaos
(The 234,453rd Most Interesting Man in the World)
"From the Large Intestine of the Internets,
through the Sphincter of Electronic Mail,
peeing like a baby on a changing table
into the brisk digital wind..."
a subsidiary of Skip's House of Chaos
(The 234,453rd Most Interesting Man in the World)
"From the Large Intestine of the Internets,
through the Sphincter of Electronic Mail,
peeing like a baby on a changing table
into the brisk digital wind..."
Statistics show that 69% of people find
something dirty in everything they read.
Top of the heap: Talk Obama To Me
26 Google Maps Tricks You Need to Try
13 side-by-side portraits of people over 100 with their younger selves.
This is what it's like to be struck by lightning
After all this time, Top Gun 2 is officially happening, and we MIGHT even get a Spaceballs 2
What Americans can learn about the soothing British ritual of tea time
The Madness and Science Behind the Trump Handshake
10 Facts About The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier
The definitive preview of Star Wars: The Last Jedi
The right way to watch Star Wars
The debuts and performances of 20 early stars (from Buster Keaton to Jimi Hendrix)
The Ultimate List of Wonderfully Specific Museums
Fun with Photoshop
10 Unusual Uses for Tennis Balls
People Share the One Experience That Completely Changed Their Perspective on Life
Love you, mean it. Let's do lunch. Have your people call my people. Ciao, bella.
- Skip ಠ_ಠ
Website Wednesday archives
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Tuesday, May 30, 2017
A local farmer was being interviewed
Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give?
Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one?
Interviewer: Ummm, the brown one.
Farmer: A couple of quarts per day.
Interviewer: And the black one?
Farmer: A couple of quarts per day.
Interviewer (who, by this time, is naturally a bit flummoxed): I see. What do you give them to eat?
Farmer: Which one? Black or brown?
Interviewer: Black.
Farmer: It eats grass.
Interviewer: And the other one?
Farmer: Grass.
Interviewer(now annoyed) : Why do you keep asking which one when the answers are the same?!
Farmer: Because the black one’s mine.
Interviewer: Oh, and the brown one?
Farmer: It’s also mine.
Tunesmith Tuesday - "Son of a Preacher Man" by Dusty Springfield
Son of a Preacher Man
Billy Ray was a preacher's son
And when his daddy would visit he'd come along
When they gathered around and started talkin'
That's when Billy would take me walkin'
Out through the back yard we'd go walkin'
Then he'd look into my eyes
Lord knows, to my surprise
The only one who could ever reach me
Was the son of a preacher man
The only boy who could ever teach me
Was the son of a preacher man
Yes he was, he was, ooh, yes he was
Bein' good isn't always easy
No matter how hard I try
When he started sweet-talkin' to me
He'd come'n tell me "Everything is all right"
He'd kiss and tell me "Everything is all right"
Can I get away again tonight?
The only one who could ever reach me
Was the son of a preacher man
The only boy who could ever teach me
Was the son of a preacher man
Yes he was, he was, ooh, yes he was (yes he was)
How well I remember
The look that was in his eyes
Stealin' kisses from me on the sly
Takin' time to make time
Tellin' me that he's all mine
Learnin' from each other's knowin'
Lookin' to see how much we've grown and
The only one who could ever reach me
Was the son of a preacher man
The only boy who could ever teach me
Was the son of a preacher man
Yes he was, he was, oh yes he was
(The only one who could ever reach me)
He was the sweet-talkin' son of a preacher man
(The only boy who could ever teach me)
Was the son of a preacher man
(The only one who could ever reach me)
Was the sweet-talkin' son of a preacher man
Monday, May 29, 2017
Monday Mind Game
What's the significance of twenty-three minutes (and 45 seconds) after one on the morning of June 7, 1989?
Give up?
Drag your cursor between the asterisks for the answer
Give up?
Drag your cursor between the asterisks for the answer
*
The exact time would be written as
0123456789
(01:23:45-6/7/89)
*
Sunday, May 28, 2017
Job opening at Microsoft
A jobless man applied for the job of janitor at Microsoft.
The HR manager interviewed him, then watched him clean the floor as a test.
"You are appointed," he said. "Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the forms to fill in".
The man replied, "But I've never owned a computer, so I don't have an an email."
"I'm sorry", said the HR manager. If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And he who does not exist, cannot have the job."
The man left with no hope at all.
He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket.
He then decided to go to the supermarket & buy a 10Kg tomato crate.
He then sold the tomatoes door-to-door. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital.
He repeated the operation three times, and returned home with $60.
The man realized that he could survive this way, and started to go earlier and return later every single day. Thus, his money grew quickly.
Not too long after, he bought a cart, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles. Five years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the USA.
He started to plan his family's future and decided to have a life insurance policy. He called an insurance broker and chose a protection plan.
When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man replied, "I don't have an email."
The broker answered curiously, "You don't have an email, and yet you’ve succeeded to build this empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you'd had an email?!?"
The man thought for a while and replied, "Yes, I'd be a janitor at Microsoft."
Saturday, May 27, 2017
The Difference Between Crows and Ravens
A biologist was asked to finally determine whether crows and ravens were, in fact, really two different subspecies of birds, which had been a matter of some conjecture for quite some time.
Given only a cursory glance, these birds appear to be virtually identical. The biologist spent considerable time watching the birds in their habitat and logging hours of observations. Their beaks were the same, their feet and their bodies showed no variable difference. But, at last, a breakthrough. The long feathers at the tip of a birds’ wings, which are called the pinion feathers (or pinions), provided the conclusion that ravens and crows do, in fact, have one crucial difference. A crow has five pinions, and a pinion has only four.
So therefore, ergo, ipso facto, the difference between crows and ravens is a matter of a pinion.
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