Spotted at the Bruce Lurie Gallery in LA...

2017 Movies

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Beer innovations we need to see in 2017

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Jokes, Puns, and One-Liners

I got pulled over by a female police officer.

When I asked what’s wrong, she said “NOTHING!!”

~~~~~

I want the end credit scene for the next Marvel movie to be in a laboratory with Thor’s hammer ("Mjölnir", for the purists) sitting on a table. The door opens and it’s Stan Lee as a janitor who looks at the hammer for a second, picks it up, cleans under it, then sets it down and leaves.

~~~~~

How do you milk sheep?

With iPhone accessories.

~~~~~

How does Harry Potter like his sandwiches to be cut?

Diagon Alley

~~~~~

Why do ads say, "Get the credit you deserve"? I don't want the credit *I* deserve, I want the credit someone with *good credit* deserves!

~~~~~

Personally, I think Nature should learn to be a little more tolerant of vacuums.

~~~~~

I’m thinking that the only thing WORSE than finding our you were given up for adoption would be finding out that it was Rick Astley who gave you up.

~~~~~

In Canada, you don’t say “I love you.” You say, “EH EH MAPLE LEAF QUEEN BACK BACON MOOSE ANTLER EH” which roughly translates into “I’ll give you my snow shovel.” I think that’s beautiful.

~~~~~

I have this irrational fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.

~~~~~

Technically, you can go the rest of your life without eating. Technically.

Throwback Thursday - Jimmy Fallon's Audition for Saturday Night Live - 1998

(originally published on February 22, 2014)

Jimmy Fallon has taken over the reins of The Tonight Show, following in the footsteps of Jack Paar, Johnny Carson, Good Jay Leno, Conan O'Brien, and Evil Jay Leno.

He got his big break as one of the cast members of Saturday Night Live during the 1998-1999 season.

Here's his audition:

Table Thong

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I finally found an unedited photo of Kim Kardashian's ass...

Website Wednesday 17.5

Website Wednesday
a subsidiary of Skip's House of Chaos
(The 234,453rd Most Interesting Man in the World)
 
"From the Large Intestine of the Internets,
through the Sphincter of Electronic Mail,
peeing like a baby on a changing table
into the brisk digital wind..."  

SKIPNOTE: A MONTH AND A HALF LEFT!!!

I'm doing the LA Marathon on March 19 to raise

money for the Kitten Rescue charity. I'm halfway

to the goal of $1,000, and I could use your help.

Please donate ANY amount - $1, $5, $10 -

WHATEVER YOU CAN AFFORD - to help this

very worthwhile cause by clicking here. Thanks!

And now, on to our regularly scheduled programming:

                        The thing all dystopian movies and books were

                        never able to predict was the sudden rebellion

                        of the National Park Social Media Managers.

Top of the heap: I knew it! I KNEW it! Bald Men Are More Intelligent, Successful, and Masculine, Says Science

THIS could come in handy - an app that makes it easy to pester your congress member

How U.S. Senators have responded to the Muslim Ban

The funniest signs from the Trump protests

An Open Letter: Today, the Statue of Liberty Shrugs

Next: A march on Washington to support science. Get updates here

The Fastest Ship In The World

15 Interesting Facts About American Gothic You Might Not Know

House of Cards teaser makes an Inauguration Day statement

Y'ever wonder if you can use a dead person’s finger to unlock their phone? Me neither.

Watch out for the “Can you hear me” scam

A Guide To Who You Are Supposed To Tip And How Much

7 Strange Mysteries of World War One

13 Things You Didn't know about The Dick Van Dyke Show

15 Awfully Big Facts About The Mary Tyler Moore Show

What Trumpcare will look like

The Myth of the Damsel on the Railroad Tracks

    ~ and, finally ~

AMAZING VIDEO: Thousands Of Sharks Visit A Sea Mount

Love you, mean it. Let's do lunch. Have your people call my people. Ciao, bella. 
- Skip    ಠ_ಠ

 Website Wednesday archives

(If you'd like to subscribe to the Website Wednesday mailing list,

shoot me an email and let me know)

I'll have what Winona's having...

(via)

Overheard in the White House

(And concentration camps will henceforth be known as "alternative housing")