Classic Blunders
1. Never get involved with a land war in Asia
2. Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line*
3. Never leave a small Green Apple or better Blowpop® unattended at any time**
4. Never look in the direction someone points when they spontaneously say, "Look at THAT!" or "WHAT ON EARTH COULD THAT BE?" or something like that
5. Never willingly take any food or drink from a known enemy unless you have irrefutable evidence that they did not put anything harmful in it
6. Never listen to an evil or dishonest person when they say "Trust me."
7. Never accept a mathematical proof that makes a ridiculous statement, such as 1=2 or i=7, without checking that there was no dividing by zero in the proof
8. Never wage war against a force that has over three times as many people on its side than you do***
9. Never procrastinate by shooting the breeze with the mailman
10. Never willingly stand near the edge of a cliff when a known enemy is nearby
11. Never trust somebody with anything valued at more than 100,000 dollars
12. Never give out very personal information to anybody unless you know for a fact that they won't spread that information around****
13. Never willingly sign a contract of any kind without looking through every single page, front and back, very carefully
14. Never willingly let somebody into your house that you don't know, or that you know to be dangerous, thieving, or destructive
15. Never willingly give a known enemy a weapon*****
16. Never let someone convince you to do anything on the list of what not to do at a stoplight at a stoplight******
17. Never let somebody lead you into a place where nobody would be able to help you in an emergency
18. Never open a .exe file from anybody you don't know without making sure that it's safe
19. Never let an enemy near you when you are unable to defend yourself or can be easily persuaded to make bad decisions
20. Never take whatever somebody asks you to when they spontaneously say, "Here, take this" or "Hey, can you hold this for a moment?" if you don't know what it is
Reasons:
1. You will end up dead
2. Again, you will end up dead
3. Someone will steal it
4. That person will take advantage of the time you're looking away
5. You will take in something that will be harmful to you, or, indirectly, to somebody else
6. That will NEVER end up well for you
7. You will make yourself look stupid
8. AGAIN, you will end up dead
9. He will know what you are doing and what you are SUPPOSED to be doing, and your house will end up on fire
10. They will push you off the cliff
11. You will never get it back
12. Somebody will blackmail you with it
13. You will end up in a bad situation
14. You will get harmed or your property will get damaged or stolen
15. AGAIN, you will end up dead
16. Somebody's going to get hurt
17. You will get seriously hurt
18. Bye-bye computer
19. You will get hurt or they will take advantage of the state you are in and trick you into doing something stupid
20. You will get harmed by whatever it is, or you will get in trouble for holding whatever it is
*Whoever has LESS Sicilian blood in them will be the one who fell for the classic blunder
**The Blowpops® that would qualify for a classic blunder are small Green Apple, small Blue Razz, large Green Apple, and large Blue Razz
***Weapons count as as many forces as they are worth
****Information that would qualify would be something that someone could threaten you with to extreme extents
*****Or anything that they could easily harm you with
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